weekend at home

ok well obviously its the weekend, So I am back home living with my parents right now. And lucky lucky me gets to come home to the usual. A fight. First its all about our finacial problems, my father leaves the house for a while (impressive cause he usually gets ticked and abusive) my mom instead of fixing me lunch goes to town and eats at DQ so whoo happy family back together once again, bull crap home alone watching soaps with my dog. ( Thank you Spot love u so much baby) My mom then spends 2 hours at the nursing home talking to old ppl. and she wonders why I don't have a relationship with her? hmm is it maybe cause we never spend time together, or tell each other more than hi and bye everyday could that be it? Dad comes home around 2ish yells at me for being on the computer still, saying that I just talk to a bunch of fuckin losers any way and they r the cause of my depression. Ain't he a sweet heart love u too dad. Those 6 ppl I talk to are the reason you have a daughter!! I go in my room fall asleep, get woken up about my parents fighting about me 3:30ish i guess. Talking about how i ain't living up to nothing, how i waste away my life thinking so much, being a teacher well never get me far in life and more shit. Me and spot sneak out my window, take a walk to my favorite spot, I pet him wishing that one of my sisters would be there to talk to. 5ish my mom leaves to San Antonio, I hide under the bridge so she won't see me when she drives by, me and spot slip back into my room. Dad is making Spagatti so I am now back on the computer wishing some1 would be on to talk to. but no one is so i think i'll just sign this journal off and go play with my dog. But don't I just have the most lovley family to always come back home t I smile today cause no one got hurt
Adios amigas Hasta Luego

Comments

• By me, right now

  Adding your comment:
• 
  football-fan-4ever
  June 29, 2009
  Edit | Reply
  i want to say something... but i have no idea what.
  im sooo sorry
• • Mystery
    June 30, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    meh its fine, ton of ppl have it worse than me, just gets frustrating at times
• LilEmoPrincess
  June 28, 2009
  Edit | Reply
  -adopts you in to my family so you never have to go through shit again-
• • Mystery
    June 28, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    but i love them Lizzy they are my family, but so are u

Recent Journals

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  What he doesn't know is I stay up everynight, wishing for him beside me.
  That his imperfections make me whole.
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• day 1

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• I'm Not Okay!

  on Jul 13 10:04 PM 2009, In Bitter, Depression, Diary, My own personal thoughts, Pain, Personal.  400 words. All. 5 comments.

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  Every day for me is like a living Hell. Every breath I take feels like a knife to the heart. Faking this happy face everyday so my friends and family r happy. It feels like the razor blade slices through my arm everytime i say I'm ok but im not, those tears that fall burn my face when they roll down. I'm trapped inside my own mind of past memories and not living in the present, so maybe i should just stop the present from continuing, i seem to of lost my precious brat and one of my big sisters, seems as torchwood is more important. ( u playing that game today was fine, cause i told u to) Happiness does exist ik it, i feel it almost everyday but there is always pain somewhere in the back. When I talk to Jessica I feel, she makes me happy i see as i do have a purpose, at least she gives me the time of day, she tells me she loves me when i need it most, with out her i would be gone way before now(Damn I love u sis!!! I can't live without u, plz don't leave me ). when i talk to Ivy, some1 as amazing as her takes the time out of her day to talk to me when she deals with millions of others shit. I loved when me and Abby just used to talk, and I would hold her and we would call each other brat. now i don't have any1 to bring a whole trunk load of big red to..I loved Lizzys stories when i would act like a 3 yr old and she would hold me telling me them. I love it when JT offers me hugs, or when i get a suprise visit from Dan.
  
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• Best day of summer school

  on Jul 7 12:42 PM 2009, 200 words. All. 1 comment.

  Whoo best day of summer school yet!! ok we had a review over the semester exam before we took it so we were playing Koosh and the ball wasn't making contact with the smart board so we were throwing random things. (oh sorry forgot to mention, I am in summer school to graduate early) One of the things we threw were the farm animals that every1 used to have when they were kids. But they didn't work either but as Genisus in book smart, we are still kids at heart. This whole class of kids IQ 13...

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  Whoo best day of summer school yet!! ok we had a review over the semester exam before we took it so we were playing Koosh and the ball wasn't making contact with the smart board so we were throwing random things. (oh sorry forgot to mention, I am in summer school to graduate early) One of the things we threw were the farm animals that every1 used to have when they were kids. But they didn't work either but as Genisus in book smart, we are still kids at heart. This whole class of kids IQ 130 and up playing with little farm animals on the ground even our teacher played with us. I bet Mr.Mkenny saw us and though we went mentally insane, which may be true, but oh well. Then after school I went to the Zoo with my niece, my sister and her friend with her kids. Alyse walked across the whole play roon at the zoo today and she sorta bent her legs so its like yay!! (ppl that don't know I work at orphanages, I also helped disabled kids that r physically and mentally slow) Alyse was in only in half of her mothers womb so she did not grow correctly, she has both legs in casts, hands not fully functional, and can't talk. but k nows some sign lanuage. So great day for her to walk by herself after the zoo we came home and took naps and here i am writing this.

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