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Journals in the Depression category

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  • by Wind Chaser 5 hours ago, In Angst, Depression, My life, My own personal thoughts, Pain, Personal, Teen issues.  100 words. All. 0 comments.
    I feel like I am losing control... A control I have worked so hard to maintain so that someone doesn't end up hurt. My temper flares more often than I keep track, and there are times when I just start to cry for no apparent reason. At work I pace to keep myself focused and mentally grounded. Last Saturday it didn't work. Half of the time I was pacing I didn't know where I was, and the remaining time I spent thinking: "Give me a knife, give me a razor blade. Give me something so I can ha...
  • by Wind Chaser 5 hours ago, In Angst, Bitter, Depression, My life, Pain, Personal, Sad, Teen issues, Thoughts.  All. 0 comments.
    I'm tired of faking a smile and pretending everything's okay when it isn't. When the smile hides the frown, a laugh hides the tears. I may not show it, and no may be aware of it, but I'm slowly dying inside.
  • by Wind Chaser 6 hours ago, In Anger, Angst, Bitter, Depression, Escape, Hate, My life, Pain, Personal, Teen issues.  100 words. All. 0 comments.
    Had two sexual encounters on Wednesday with guys I didn't really know. Cut myself again last night, it was worse than last time. But, it was a release. I just want to be held and told everything will be okay! But, I know it's not going to happen. I'm lost, I don't know who I even am anymore.

    I feel like one of these days I'm just going to quit caring and I'm going to let go of all the control I have fought so hard to maintain. If that happens, I know someone will end up hurt.
  • by Wind Chaser 6 hours ago, In Anger, Angst, Depression, Goodbyes, Lost love, My life, Pain, Personal, Romance.  100 words. All. 0 comments.
    At the ER at Skiff, being transferred to Mercy-Franklin. Been here since 12ish. Crystal stayed till almost two. Talked to Rachel. Want and need to talk to Sid, tried calling. He was sleeping.

    I'm terrified of how he will react when he finds out, and if he will care enough to come when I need him. I love him so much it hurts. Granted, he didn't know when he broke up with me yesterday that it was the worst thing he could do at the moment.

    I just want to run. I'm tired ...
  • by Wind Chaser 6 hours ago, In Adult, Angst, Depression, My life, Pain, Personal, Teen issues.  All. 0 comments.
    I feel so dead inside. I'm a living zombie... I'm just going through the motions.
    I'm lying when I say I'm fine. A smile hides the frown and a laugh hides the tears. Nothing is fine. When I don't want to feel, I can't stop. And when I want to feel I'm so out of it that I can't.
  • by Wind Chaser 6 hours ago, In Anger, Angst, Depression, Hate, My life, Pain, Personal, Teen issues.  100 words. All. 0 comments.
    It's a constant battle to be good enough. To be able to measure up to everyone else's standards. But I'm never allowed to pass the test. The eyes are a mirror into the soul. It's too bad no one ever sees the truth reflected in them... Why can I pretend I'm okay and everyone believes it, but when I show them that I'm not they think I should be?

    Some people believe in hell, but the truth is life itself is hell. Why do I feel unworthy of being happy or of being loved?

    The...
  • by Wind Chaser 6 hours ago, In Angst, Depression, Happiness, Longing, Lost love, My life, Pain, Personal, Sadness.  100 words. All. 0 comments.
    I just wish I could turn back the clock... April 2010. One single month of true happiness in a lifetime of misery. Eight hours of pure joy. Intense passion. All gone now. Lost forever with nothing left of those two days but a memory.

    Some people say time heals all. But, it doesn't. Some wounds can start to heal and then be ripped open again. Why do I see a brick wall when I look to the future? Words that would begin to describe how I feel at the moment: Numb. It's easier ...
  • by sadeyes1919 7 hours ago, In Bitter, Depression, Life, My life, My own personal thoughts, Other, Pain, Personal.  200 words. All. 0 comments.
    07/29/2010

    Why i so life complicated??...why is it when your in high school people expect way too much out of you?..why is the when you do a miastake, it seem like if it's the end of the world? i have tried to be the perfect child my family expects out of me, but when i do a slight mistake all of what i've worked for ends. i have to start from square one.

    yes i appear to be the perfect child, but in the inside i have a ticking bomb, and i feel like the expolsion is near. i ...
  • by BleedingBlackTears 1 day ago, In Angst, Bitter, Depression, Diary, Friends, Life, Love, My own personal thoughts.  200 words. All. 0 comments.
    You know the other night before my art class i went for a walk in town. Along the mall by myself, and you know what i knew it was dangerous. in fact i was waiting for something to happen. Was hoping something would happen. It wasnt that i was suicidal. i wasnt i just lost my purpose somewhere along the way. and i dont wanna live for the sake of being alive? otherwise everything is pointless. and i dont want to have a pointless life. so here i was walking along. in the dark in a dangerous plac...
  • by Kalinda001 1 day ago, In Depression, Journal, My own personal thoughts, Sad, Thoughts.  100 words. All. 2 comments.
    The day has finally come. I've been waiting for it with bated breath...and it's rather depressing.

    When I grew up, the wishing-dream used to be, 'If I had a million dollars.' There was even a song about it.

    But now, a million dollars is just a mere sneeze and we need a billion dollars...

    Sigh.
  • by LiesKeepRepeating.. 1 day ago, In Angst, Depression, Life, Love, Pain, Personal.  200 words. All. 1 comment.



    I Nearly Lost You.




    And I Have Never Ever Been So Afraid.




    I've Never Cried So Much In My LIfe.



    I Never Want To Have To Talk You Down...


    Never Want To Fear Not Holding You Again


    To Be Fearful That I Will Never Kiss Your S...
  • by darkclover 1 day ago, In Depression, Life, My life, My own personal thoughts, Personal, Sad, Thoughts.  100 words. All. 4 comments.
    i'm afraid i'm falling back into depression.. i don't want to talk, i don't want to move, i'm sad for no reason.. i think i'm going to start shutting myself down again. i'm not eating right. not only that, but school starts soon and i moved so i won't know anyone. i might close my FB account and whatnot.

    what do i do? i don't want to be the person i was before, but i don't want to fight the sadness either..
  • by Hail-titania 1 day ago, In Depression, Joj, Lyrics, Thoughts, Ugly.  200 words. All. 4 comments.
    "Wanna Go for A Ride?"
    "Sure Ken!"
    "Well Forget It!"

    I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl
    sad I have it, I should bag it
    Acne everywhere, unwanted facial hair
    I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation

    "You're so ugly you disgust me"

    I'm a bland homey girl
    All alone in the world
    I'm as flat as a board
    Thin and lanky

    You're a dog and a troll
    Were you hit by a train?
    Don't go near you 'cause you breath is SKANKY
    ...
  • by GuiltyConscience 2 days ago, In Depressed, Depression, Pain, Personal, Sad, Sadness, Self, Suicide.  All. 4 comments.
    I draw my curtains and sit on my bed without turning the lights on.

    I bet they look at me and wonder, "What is she doing?"


    But I can't answer them.
  • by Jayheart 2 days ago, In Confusion, Depression, Friends, Love gone wrong, My life, Personal thoughts, Sad.  200 words. All. 0 comments.
    You're a one of a kind person, one of a kind friend
    I just wish you were still here with me
    You're still a one of a kind person,
    but your friendship i no longer need

    I'm stronger without you
    i'm better too
    but you're still one of a kind to me
    if only i could make you see

    You're a one of a kind person, one of a kind friend
    i just wish we had never spoken
    i still say you're a friend, but to you...
    i just my journey should end

    you ke...
  • by ShadwRoseAlchemist 2 days ago, In Depression, Life, Love, Pain, Personal, Sad.  100 words. All. 2 comments.
  • by Fueled615 2 days ago, In Bipolar disorder, Depression, Novel.  14,800 words. All. 0 comments.
    Here is the beginning of my novel, Ready Fuels. I'm still editing it... so patience. Also, the first five chapters are depressing, but it gets more positive, so patience. Hope you enjoy.







    ...
  • by Friesian 2 days ago, In Book, Depression, Life, Lissy, Other, Publishing, Recent, Thoughts, Vent.  300 words. All. 8 comments.
    Hello! I've decided to pour out all the slush from my mind on what's been going on recently. Firstly, I've been very worn out from the querying process of my book. I finished a query letter that I'm proud of and sent it out to various agents. The problem is, I can't find any more agents to send it to that are interested in the genre, or accept unsolicited queries or email. I've gotten 9 rejections in the past week (and counting ) and it's really gott...
  • by Hail-titania 2 days ago, In Contemplative, Depression, Diary, My own personal thoughts, Pain, Sad.  300 words. All. 18 comments.
    It's only 11:33 am. But already, I know it's been another horrible day for me.
    I won't go into details about it , because i don't really expect anybody to read this.
    But if you want to know why i am feeling so awful, specifically today , you can message me/comment and ask. I would love to tell somebody, so at least somebody knows. I just dont think anybody cares enough.

    And now for the second part of this journal.
    I think, today, I am going to do it. I am going to break...
  • by Unlimited peace on Jul 27 1:57 AM, In Angst, Contemplative, Depression, Friends, Life, Love, My life, Personal, Thoughts.  100 words. All. 0 comments.
    Today I am battling with my thoughts, this seems to happen to me now and then, I am normally quite strong at pushing the thoughts out my mind and carrying on like it doesnt matter.

    But today is different, im really battling, my friends seem to be so far away and so uncaring of late, not that they mean to be im sure, but they are right now, just when I need them most.

    But another day will dawn tomorrow and il still be here I hope and il carry on with a smile on my lips and a ...
  • by Black Phoenix on Jul 27 1:12 AM, In Depression, Love, My life, My own personal thoughts, Pain, Personal, Sad.  100 words. Friends only. 2 comments.
  • by TobiMadaragoodboy on Jul 26 10:04 PM, In Angst, Depression, Life, Love, Pain, Random, Sad, Spur of the moment, Thoughts.  500 words. All. 0 comments.
    Rules:
    1.Choose a anime/manga pairing to start out- my pick: MadaIta (Madara Itachi)
    2.get Mp3,Ipod,media player and set it on shuffle
    3.write drabbles for that pairing that relates to the song. As soon as the ends you stop writing and no planing or skipping songs it takes the fun away.
    4. Do aproximetly 5 no less.
    *NOte: By the way peopel i dont know how to write drabbles so forgive me for my writign mistake and grammer mistakes*

    Dancing with tears in my eyes by ...
  • by xxEmo-Clownxx on Jul 26 6:31 PM, In Depression, Pain, Personal.  100 words. All. 14 comments.
    Some know i dated a girl named Emily right? Well i broke up with her yesterday because i didnt love her as much as i thought. I think she mightve commited suicide ! I feel terrible right now i cant breathe im crying , ive left her 5 messages and she hasnt replied and when we were talking she was cutting herself. I think she might be dead , im rlly scared someone plz help me!
  • by Tokyo Kid on Jul 26 4:51 PM, In Bitter, Contemplative, Depression, Life, My own personal thoughts.  100 words. Friends only. 9 comments.
  • by Ducttapemann101 on Jul 26 4:35 PM, In Depression, My own personal thoughts, Pain, Personal, Sad, Thoughts.  100 words. All. 0 comments.
    Im tired of back stabing friends
    Im tired of always haing the bad ends
    People that say that they are ther then turn and run
    when things get tough
    im tired, of people hating me when they dont know me
    and randomly taking shots at me
    for no reason, when they dont know me
    acting like they dont

    Im not ok, i never have been
    i probably wont be
    but no one see's no one no one cares
    rite now im tired of everything
    tired of people hating each other
  • by inu-youkia on Jul 26 2:44 PM, In Bitter, Depression, Diary, First person, My life, My own personal thoughts, Pain.  200 words. All. 0 comments.
    I don't feel like writing.... at all... even ever again.
    Nothing seems to stay, my mind changes every second like the world around me.
    My family seems to be forgetting... everything!
    They went out and bought a motorcycle, RV, and traded in the truck for a jeep! This stuff is so useless!!! they aren't going through a midlife crisis. they're too old for that. What happened to keeping what we only need!
    As you can see by only this much my thoughts are scattered and can not be ...
  • by xxEmo-Clownxx on Jul 26 9:06 AM, In Depression, My life.  100 words. All. 1 comment.
    Basically i got the at&t phone bill n there charging us 171 dollars ( i dont hav my phone anymore ) but there mostly charging my moms phone . I think i might get grounded for texting or whatever , so dad might not let me in here for a long time . Idk if im gonna get grounded , but just in case i do i wanna tell Andre, Chrysyde , Snickies, Star, Emily , Bri/Ryan , and everyone else i love u guys alot ur like a family on here and i appreciate it. Maybe i deserve getting grounded i mess up on ev...
  • by ItachiLove on Jul 26 8:20 AM, In Bitter, Depression.  All. 2 comments.















    I wil be moving across the town to another house, and I don't know when I will have Internet, so if I don't update, that means I'm busy and I don't have Internet.
  • by GuiltyConscience on Jul 25 11:26 PM, In Depressed, Depression, Pain, Personal, Sad, Sadness, Self, Suicide.  100 words. All. 0 comments.
    I tried so hard not to take it. I really did, honest.
    Lauren had already destroyed our piece of celery and was busy examining a piece under the microscope. I looked at it. Small. Shiny. Perfect.
    I wanted it.
    I didn't care what it had already come into contact with. All I knew was that I couldn't take my eyes off it.
    I needed it.
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Search synonyms for Depression: cut cup low growth pain decrease pocket anxiety score reduction