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No legitimate assessment of "lonely" can be made until you've cut your own hair. Yeah, part-time job- I already made the joke in my head and ON it!!! Have fun ya'll!!!
No legitimate assessment of "lonely" can be made until you've cut your own hair. Yeah, part-time job- I already made the joke in my head and ON it!!!
Have fun ya'll!!!
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Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Why'd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk. "Cause Ah can't write," replied the girl. "Why don't you sign with an 'X'?" asked the man. "Ah used to," she answered. "But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!"
Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Why'd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk.
"Cause Ah can't write," replied the girl.
"Why don't you sign with an 'X'?" asked the man.
"Ah used to," she answered.
"But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!"
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IGoogle joke for July 22 A brunette walks over to her Blonde friends home and finds her crying. "What happened...why are you crying?" The Blonde tells her that her mother has passed away. The neighbor makes her some coffee, comforts her and then leaves. The next day the neighbor goes back over to the house and finds the blonde crying again. Once again, she asks her why she was crying? This time the blonde replies hysterically... "I just go...
IGoogle joke for July 22
A brunette walks over to her Blonde friends home and finds her crying. "What happened...why are you crying?"
The Blonde tells her that her mother has passed away.
The neighbor makes her some coffee, comforts her and then leaves.
The next day the neighbor goes back over to the house and finds the blonde crying again.
Once again, she asks her why she was crying?
This time the blonde replies hysterically... "I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!
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http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/542666 Yes mastermind 5 is funny hahahaha
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/542666
Yes mastermind 5 is funny hahahaha
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IGoogle joke for July 20, 2010 A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game. "I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"
IGoogle joke for July 20, 2010
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game.
Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"
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My family is insane, as this will prove. I truly do come by it honest. The first poem is by my Grandmother, Bobbie-Jo Harris. The second is by my aunt Jo, the third my aunt Nancy, the 4th by Marna (my first cousin once removed), the 5th by Kathy Kelley (another 1st cousin once removed), and the last was once again my aunt Jo. Millie died and was put into the freezer for months until the ground thawed enough to bury her. Nancy's cat Missy died and lay on the floor for hours unt...
My family is insane, as this will prove. I truly do come by it honest. The first poem is by my Grandmother, Bobbie-Jo Harris. The second is by my aunt Jo, the third my aunt Nancy, the 4th by Marna (my first cousin once removed), the 5th by Kathy Kelley (another 1st cousin once removed), and the last was once again my aunt Jo.
Millie died and was put into the freezer for months until the ground thawed enough to bury her. Nancy's cat Missy died and lay on the floor for hours until she came home from work and found her stiff on the floor. Marna's cat was lost between walls when her house was redone and they thought she'd run off until their noses detected a foul smell.
The babe of whom they speak is my son, Eric Michael.
Let the insanity begin!
-Lyd
Sent to me by my Grandmother
Subject: Fwd: millie
I just found this from 2006 and have to laugh. And send it off.
Incidentally, we have just buried Taegel, our white cat, who died a couple of months ago and has been in a ziplock bag in an unused (except for him) freezer. Odd? Not a bit. We were inundated with rain and couldn't slosh into the pet cemetery. The funeral was lovely but Eric wanted to know if we should be having funeral games. He provided the flowers, too.
-----Inline Message Follows-----
Millie's in the freezer
With the lima beans and peas.
I know it wouldn't please her but
It's hard upon my knees
To dig a little grave in
The solid frozen ground,
So quietly she rests and she
Doesn't make a sound.
I miss our Millie terribly
And humbly beg her pardon.
When spring arrives, we'll plant her
In a lovely Millie garden.
Love from Grandma B
__________________________________________
Jo's rebuttal
You, my dear, have lost your mind,
I'm sure you'd like to differ.
I know my cat is in the deep
For I can always whiff her.
I'll plant her when we have the time.
Maybe even soon.
Perhaps we'll do it in the dark
Or by a nice full moon.
When we do we'll let you know.
We won't leave you all out.
The baby needs to get a feel
For what we're all about!
_________________________________...
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Recently, I have seen a lot of people posting the same chain letter/ status thing on Facebook, and it keeps going on and on... While some chain letters can be tolerable the first couple times, most of them get very annoying VERY quickly... especially when the said letters are wrong in so many ways, and no one bothers to correct them. Not to be a grammar Nazi, but sometimes the stupidity of America infuriates me... so I offered my humble opinion on the subject. The chain letter: "...
Recently, I have seen a lot of people posting the same chain letter/ status thing on Facebook, and it keeps going on and on... While some chain letters can be tolerable the first couple times, most of them get very annoying VERY quickly... especially when the said letters are wrong in so many ways, and no one bothers to correct them. Not to be a grammar Nazi, but sometimes the stupidity of America infuriates me... so I offered my humble opinion on the subject.
The chain letter:
"POKE me if youever had a crush on me. LIKE this status if you think I`m a goodfriend. MESSAGE me if you ever wanted to date me. COMMENT me if we ever had good memories together. Now lets see whos brave enough to set this as their status."
My slightly altered version:
"POKE me if youever had a malfunctioning space bar. LIKE this status if you think I`m a bit dodgy with apostrophes. MESSAGE me if you ever wanted me to stop raping my shift key. COMMENT me if we ever had good memories of prepositions actually being used. Now lets see whos brave enough to use proper grammar."
So I posted it as my status, and waited for the angry comments to start flooding in. Surprisingly, there were none as of yet, though I realized that there still was a bit of sarcastic fun to be had with my sister Jamie (in the friendliest way possible).
Jamie's comment: ON, ABOVE, TO, FROM, WITH! ;D
(By this, she was making a reference to my comment about prepositions.)
My reply: Oh my, Jamie... a grammar joke? Only the most pompous life-form would even think to make such a haughty conjecture toward the more humble members of society such as myself who may or may not have experienced certain complications with their schooling. We are only human. Shame on you.
Jamie: haha nahh beetch! i did thaa whi' you wuz sittin' right thar. on tha sturs, nigs. ;p
Me: I know not of the "nigs" of which you speak, myself not being up to date with the current "ghetto lingo" of the "home-dogs" you associate yourself with, though I trust you have received my most recent message on the importance of human equality. Most humans are not quite as intelligent as I may or may not be. These petty insults have gone too far. We must take pity on them.
...
Gremmerzz SUX! Sarcasm FTW. lol XDDD
I apologize. Perhaps my sarcasm goes too far. I don't wish to offend anyone...
Though sarcasm is so much fun, even when people use it at my expense...
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come one I have so much more to say.... and yesterday I admit it I was in a funk... which btw it made PMS seem like a walk in the park... okay now that I'm over that... I hope that I gave you all of the email addresses that I use, you all know that I can't remember much. After all I was the one who put my house keys in the freezer. okay so today was just like any other day.. NOT!!! never a dull moment around...
come one I have so much more to say.... and yesterday I admit it I was in a funk... which btw it made PMS seem like a walk in the park... okay now that I'm over that... I hope that I gave you all of the email addresses that I use, you all know that I can't remember much. After all I was the one who put my house keys in the freezer.
okay so today was just like any other day.. NOT!!! never a dull moment around my house. He didn't want to get up and go to camp, and he was Cranky... arghhh
He complained, he grumbled, he moaned... I was told by his doc that he is a tween... Umm excuse my language but the what the hell is that? What is a tween? I don't even think it's a word, more like a made up one.
So if I can survive the next what 8 yrs with some or all of my sanity intact, I'll be just fine right? Or ... will I be checking in the white room soon. [been there once before]
So instead of introducing everyone to my son, Chris.. it will now be... this is grumpy.. Wait wan't he one of the 7 dwarfs?? Well I am most definetly not going to come out of this with my sanity...
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IGoogle funny for July 12, 2010 Did you hear that the Pillsbury dough boy died? Yup: got a yeast infection. Dr.McCoy reported to Captain Kirk: "He's bread, Jim." It was a sad thing that but for a little dough some crusty old doctor could have performed a BATTERy of tests and maybe given him much kneaded treatment. If it worked, the poor soul would still be leaven.
IGoogle funny for July 12, 2010
Did you hear that the Pillsbury dough boy died?
Yup: got a yeast infection.
Dr.McCoy reported to Captain Kirk: "He's bread, Jim." It was a sad thing that but for a little dough some crusty old doctor could have performed a BATTERy of tests and maybe given him much kneaded treatment. If it worked, the poor soul would still be leaven.
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IGoogle funny for July 10, 2010 The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. It wasn't until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.
IGoogle funny for July 10, 2010
The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men.
It wasn't until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.
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I think... I've fallen for someone. And they like me back. I don't want to be tamed. I don't want to be held victim. I'm kidding. They'll just have to deal with a rebellious tomboy. And I'm not a huge romantic; they gotta deal with that too.
I think...
I've fallen for someone. And they like me back.
I don't want to be tamed. I don't want to be held victim.
I'm kidding.
They'll just have to deal with a rebellious tomboy.
And I'm not a huge romantic; they gotta deal with that too.
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Sleeping Pills: Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.
Sleeping Pills:
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.
Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine" said the boss.
"But where were you yesterday?"
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dear diary you know those cool sleaves without a shirt attached to to a shirt those chicks where that don't have any particular use or function?i like them but they are very redundent like who is ever only cold on their forarms? does that make sence? I think they look really sexy but thats like chewing a pick,what the fuck.and while we are on the subject what about toe socks thnats just weird is there any reason for them. and those fingerless gloves the only use those have is to publicly stat...
dear diary you know those cool sleaves without a shirt attached to to a shirt those chicks where that don't have any particular use or function?i like them but they are very redundent like who is ever only cold on their forarms? does that make sence? I think they look really sexy but thats like chewing a pick,what the fuck.and while we are on the subject what about toe socks thnats just weird is there any reason for them. and those fingerless gloves the only use those have is to publicly state how gay you are.who would wer them its gay.
P.S.for whoever is reading my diary fuck off but first leave a comment about any of these functionless things you nosy bastard.
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dear diary, edward collins is a fag he wers eye liner and is an over rated parasite and the guy who is a dog would kick his ass reallisticly then again are vampires and werwolfs realistic? FUCK YA IT IS lol and what the fuck is bellas problem with freaks and monsters and she openly cheats on her boyfriend as far as i can tell,she is a glamorized slut. im not an expert but how does like no one notice that the vampire dude is in 11th grade for like 200 years shouldnt this be cal...
dear diary,
edward collins is a fag he wers eye liner and is an over rated parasite and the guy who is a dog would kick his ass reallisticly then again are vampires and werwolfs realistic? FUCK YA IT IS lol and what the fuck is bellas problem with freaks and monsters and she openly cheats on her boyfriend as far as i can tell,she is a glamorized slut. im not an expert but how does like no one notice that the vampire dude is in 11th grade for like 200 years shouldnt this be called to the attentionj of the school board and what the hell is up with edward he doesnt change in sunlight he is just embarrased he uses body glitter and it only shows in the sunlight duh and what the hell how come no one just notices that guy stop a fuckin big ol' truck from crushin bella and if he is so fast he should join track and just run slightly faster than the other guys duh like if he3 wasnt such a pansy he would do football or soccer or some shit use ur superpowers to use stupid! thas just what i noticed whatever.
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dear diary, i read what my friend wrote in his diary about what he hated bout some people so i'm makin my own but none of the same as his 1when your talking to someone about something they did and they ask "who" who the fuck you think dumbass the tv?do you think the tv forgot to pick its nasty fuckin used underwear off the floor?!?!? 2 i hate it when someone leaves their clothes on the bathroom floor when there is a dirty clothes hamper ...
dear diary, i read what my friend wrote in his diary about what he hated bout some people so i'm makin my own but none of the same as his
1when your talking to someone about something they did and they ask "who" who the fuck you think dumbass the tv?do you think the tv forgot to pick its nasty fuckin used underwear off the floor?!?!?
2 i hate it when someone leaves their clothes on the bathroom floor when there is a dirty clothes hamper 2 feet away thas not even the length X( lazy ass bastard or throws trash on the floor when there is a trashcan right there i mean really?honestly its right there???ur here that close that fuckin close
3 people who dont recycle god damb is it that hard really just tell the trash company u wanna resycle then just seperate recycleables from trash 2FUCKIN STEPS 2 1 2 that simple
4 people who are fat and say they got some thyroid problem and shit and they dont even know what a thyroid is u is just in denile and dont wanna get off ur lazy ass and excersise its because of you america is the fattest country in the world
5 people who talk trash when they are the worst at watever the fuck it is ur mud staight up dirt so shut your mouth and speak with ur actions cocky bastard
6 people that talk shit even after you beat them god damb get the fuck outta here bitch
7 when you say never mind and the person is like tell me and shit for ten minutes..imma say it slowly.if i wanted to tell u i would have and if i wanted you to mind i wouldnt say mind retard
8 how come everyone expects you to go up to ten when you say top ten jus cuz i say wat the fuck u takin my word do u even no me? wouldx you trust me anytime else and what the fuuck do you care so much how honest i am about whast i will make my top ten list as long as i want.
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Dumb Blonde: A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Dumb Blonde:
A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
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1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people s...
1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???
Hmmm did i steal this from a certain british lass...? me steal? noooooo.
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The Last Time when Past Time went for a walk. Present Time was trying to keep up with Future Time and got lost. Then Second came by only to wait a minute. The Hour flew by just to pass by the Day. Now Yesterday ran into Present Day Who tried to grab hold of the Future. It found itself half past the hour. Now Last Year was sad because his Past Year sucked. Then his Future Year went out with Past Year. Now Present Year meant up with Long Time Ago
The Last Time when Past Time went for a walk.
Present Time was trying to keep up
with Future Time and got lost.
Then Second came by only to wait a minute.
The Hour flew by just to pass by the Day.
Now Yesterday ran into Present Day
Who tried to grab hold of the Future.
It found itself half past the hour.
Now Last Year was sad because his Past Year sucked.
Then his Future Year went out with Past Year.
Now Present Year meant up with Long Time Ago
made a mistake called Good Year.
Who called Bad Year.
Now Long Time Ago was scared.
Went to Hundered Year
but lost him a Century Ago.
Now Century Ago found Present Day
Said she should give up and
Call it A Good Year.
Only to find out Last Year sucked
The Past Year.
so you seeany Year is a Good Year
if you don't like this year.
Your Future Year will always take place in the Past Year.
Who is related to Yesterday.
So if you are confused yet, Don't be. It took awhile to catch up to Now.
Just my screwed up mind thinking up scazy stuff. I hope you enjoy it as much as I wrote it.
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I went to the miniature golf course today with my youth group. I was late, though, so I didn't play golf. Instead, I had german chocolate soft-serve ice cream and hung out with my friend Rachel. And also, someone's birthday was today, so their mom made a huge cookie pie and cake. Everyone wanted the cookie pie, but barely anyone wanted the cake. It took a long time getting people to have some. The reason I was late was because my mom was going to wash my dog, and she saw that my dog ...
I went to the miniature golf course today with my youth group. I was late, though, so I didn't play golf. Instead, I had german chocolate soft-serve ice cream and hung out with my friend Rachel. And also, someone's birthday was today, so their mom made a huge cookie pie and cake. Everyone wanted the cookie pie, but barely anyone wanted the cake. It took a long time getting people to have some.
The reason I was late was because my mom was going to wash my dog, and she saw that my dog had scabs on her, so she took her to the vet and the vet said that my dog is actually allergic to fleas!!! She had some flea dust still on her, but no fleas, so that's how they decided it. so they gave her medication, had to take off some of her fur and put it on, and then we put a sweater on her so she wouldn't scratch or bite at it, and there's something else I'm not going to enjoy. The vet said we're not supposed to wash my dog for another week, and we haven't given her a bath in three!!! Our dog is going to smell by the time she gets her bath.
i can't believe she's allergic to fleas!!!
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Come hither my bold and brave friends, this Paladin is here to recruit you brave souls for the tales of the Elven Queen. I find our forces were depleted by constant savaging of the horde and now is the time to stand and deliver. As you all know we here in Darnassus (our home city for you hopeless fools) have sworn allegiance to the Elven queen known as Amera and to be so included in the future tales of bravery amongst men and women of our creed you must so declare yourself...
Come hither my bold and brave friends, this Paladin is here to recruit you brave souls for the tales of the Elven Queen.
I find our forces were depleted by constant savaging of the horde and now is the time to stand and deliver.
As you all know we here in Darnassus (our home city for you hopeless fools) have sworn allegiance to the Elven queen known as Amera and to be so included in the future tales of bravery amongst men and women of our creed you must so declare yourself willing and able here and now!
I Paladin of the High Court Swifthammer do here declare the tales shale be filled with accounts of our brave stands in battle and our gentle manners in court.
So now come forth do declare a character for these here coming tales.
The Queen herself of course is already taken and there can be no King to be called her equal so as you see we must all bow in her presence lest we be blinded by the gleam of her splendid armor.
A sight to behold!
Sir Paladin
Swifthammer
High court of Darnassus
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1) What is your preferred form of poetry? ~anything that rhymes!! 2) What kind of prompts/inspiration do you respond best to? ~picture prompts or quotes....or lyrics (but thats self issued) 3) When did you first discover your interest in poetry? ~4th grade! 4)How do you feel when someone critiques your poetry? ~i like that they point out my spelling but i hate it when they tell me to fix my flow sometimes its supposed to not flow right! 5) W...
1) What is your preferred form of poetry?
~anything that rhymes!!
2) What kind of prompts/inspiration do you respond best to?
~picture prompts or quotes....or lyrics (but thats self issued)
3) When did you first discover your interest in poetry?
~4th grade!
4)How do you feel when someone critiques your poetry?
~i like that they point out my spelling but i hate it when they tell me to fix my flow sometimes its supposed to not flow right!
5) What is a significant life experience you're comfortable with sharing
~i was in a car crash the same year as 9/11 on september 22nd .
6) What ambitions/aspirations do you have for your life?
~acting, music, and writing poetry
7) What is the most outrageous thing you dream of doing?
~umm....not sure
8) Care to share a deep, dark secret? [or maybe even a regular one? ]
~my weekness is my own clinginess
9) How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood?
~he would chuck all day....so much we cant even count!
10) How do you envision the world/humanity coming to its end?
~i think since the sun is a giant star and stars explode and cause black holes, i think the sun is going to explode and form a huge black hole and suck us in
11)What is the best thing to do with cheese?
~put it on pizza!!!
12) What's the longest word you know?
~supercalafragilisticexpialidoshus
13) how big are you feet?
~ im not telling!!! i hate my feet and keep it at that!
14) do you dye your hair?
~no but sometimes ill put the temparay stuff in...so i can wash it out if i dont like it
15) are you a person to drive a mustang or a chevy? Why?
~chevy...they have beds in the back, and i can have a romantic evening looking at the stars with my boyfriend
16) would you rather ham or chicken? why?
~ham!!! it tastes better and it isnt dry like chicken is....and it doesnt taste like chicken
17) would you rather live in beach hut or a cave? why?
~a cave, i like the nature....i wanna feel like a cave man!...or woman
18) do you eat liver or would you rather snake? Why?
~id rather liver, cuz i dont wanna hurt a snake...they might do ...
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CUSTERED-OUT ON THE STAKED PLAINS (Parts II & III) II. Between Amarillo and Tucumcari (The Prequel) We travel the Staked Plains out of Fort Worth; between the Apaches and Kiowas, Comanches and smaller tribes just ahead;
CUSTERED-OUT ON THE STAKED PLAINS (Parts II & III)
II. Between Amarillo and Tucumcari (The Prequel)
We travel the Staked Plains out of Fort Worth;
between the Apaches and Kiowas,
Comanches and smaller tribes just ahead;
between Canadian and Red rivers,
headed for Pecos and Rio Grande,
across sparse ground of red dust and hot sand,
by columns of two, we ride gallantly;
lonely tourists covered in worthless dust,
just to watch red natives die native death.
III. The Epilogue
They come once again for their finale,
no fancy-dancing, beads and feathers here;
this ain't no pow-wow with a grand entry!
These ain't actors with trinkets, novelties,
sharp souvenirs that could put an eye out;
these are warriors defending their country!
FROM ANOTHER POINT OF VIEW
despite the light-years
of width and depth
or billions of years of age;
in the dark infinity of space
the universe does not exist!
MORE THAN A CHANGE
OF ADDRESS
I no longer reside in
Sodom, or in Gomorrah;
nor witness televi...
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THEM: Shut up
ME: 973-409-3277
ME: 973-409-3277
THEM: ................
ME: If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
ME: If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you...
THEM: Shut up
ME: 973-409-3277
ME: 973-409-3277
THEM: ................
ME: If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
ME: If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
THEM: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SHUT UP!
ME: If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
ME: If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
ME: If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
THEM: .......
GODDAMMIT, BITCH! I WILL CUT YOU!
ME: If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on line.
ME: If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
THEM: *rolls eyes*
ME: If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer.
THEM: .........
Seriously?
THEM: If you're delusional go jump out your fucking window!
ME: If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
ME: If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
THEM: Whatever.
ME: If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
THEM: Okayy... whatev.
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What were Jesus' last words at the last supper? "Ok, all you guys who want to be in the picture, get on THIS side of the table"
What were Jesus' last words at the last supper?
"Ok, all you guys who want to be in the picture,
get on THIS side of the table"
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Julie, how I love you. I long for you these long shifts I work alone and I know you too feel the same longing and loving for me those lonely hours that you work in practical solitude. I pity us both in our woes & miseries when without one another. Darling, fret not for there will come a day, a day very soon, that we shall be reunited and our hearts justice served. Until Wednseday my love, until then I will sit lost in thoughts of your beautiful face, your greenish blue eyes...
Julie, how I love you. I long for you these long shifts I work alone and I know you too feel the same longing and loving for me those lonely hours that you work in practical solitude.
I pity us both in our woes & miseries when without one another. Darling, fret not for there will come a day, a day very soon, that we shall be reunited and our hearts justice served.
Until Wednseday my love, until then I will sit lost in thoughts of your beautiful face, your greenish blue eyes dazzling in the fluorescent lighting and your unruley hair, the tangles when its damp fresh from the shower in ringlets upon your high cheekbones.
The way you laugh, the excitement in your voice and that adorable look you get when you try to be serious. With us love, serious is overrated and we loose ourselves in hours at a time in the blinding bliss of us.
-Yours Forever & Truely,
Katie
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I'm Hyper & Bored and have been watching the Tudors, so I wrote'd a love letter woo! (Lets hope her fiance doesn't find out )
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