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My baby girl, Sakura. Thank you to Gauntletier for helping me come up with the name
My baby girl, Sakura. Thank you to Gauntletier for helping me come up with the name
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I learnt something today, something that made me think about what I am, and who I want. I know that things in life are the most complicated things that anyone can comprehend with. I took the time to realise that, no only am I proud of who I am, but I'm proud of the people who aren't afraid. Loving and caring for people is different than wanting to be with them forever and share your life and your bed with them. It's about being true. Being honest. I want to be honest with the world and I know...
I learnt something today, something that made me think about what I am, and who I want. I know that things in life are the most complicated things that anyone can comprehend with. I took the time to realise that, no only am I proud of who I am, but I'm proud of the people who aren't afraid. Loving and caring for people is different than wanting to be with them forever and share your life and your bed with them. It's about being true. Being honest. I want to be honest with the world and I know that it hurt some people when things like this happen but, I know what I want. What I want is to be with my girl forever. I want to ask something, I don't need an answer but: What do you want? I want people to be happy, to be who they are and be proud of who they love. You see, all these sex maniacs aren't so bad, but they fail to see love. How can you truly know someone through just sex, but how can you know them without? It's the border, the line that you either choose to cross or not. For me I see that this line isn't something I want to cross with more than the person that I am with now. I can't take to see people sad, but I'm sick of hiding away with everything else. I know to some people that what I am going on about makes no sense at all, but to me, it makes perfect sense, and for some reason I can't stop typing. I have never ever wanted anything more that to be out, as they say "out and proud" but so many people in my life have tried to stop me and why? I ask myself why? Still I'm not a 100% sure but I know one thing. I won't let them be in my way or judge me any longer. I'm so out! I'm so gay that no one will ever change me. I have always wanted to be honest and now, look at me. I'm finally being the Salliee that everyone didn't want me to be. I know to some I'm a disappointment, and to others, damn you will understand me more now, but why be mad? I'm still me. I can't stop thinking about the one girl that makes me happy to the point I want to marry her. I want to have a life with her, and make her feel like the princess she is. Why is it that people tell me, you're to close to your male friends to be gay, how are you? They are my FRIENDS, just friends. I love them to pieces but I don't want to jump in their bed. I found my path, I found my true meaning and I want people to know me and have me as their friend. Tab is my guarded princess and I still am the dyke in shinning armour that saved her. I don't know if she truly thanks me for it but, hell I'm so gl...
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August 10, 2009 I bet you cant even remember what happened that day That was the day we met The day i thought my life meant something Boy did everything change January 18, 2010 Everyone knows that day Martin Luther King Jr. Day But to me the start of it all Our first date We snuck out early in the morning You drove and sang to me in the cold Do remember where we went? We went to the mall So many firsts happened that day I will ...
August 10, 2009
I bet you cant even remember what happened that day
That was the day we met
The day i thought my life meant something
Boy did everything change
January 18, 2010
Everyone knows that day
Martin Luther King Jr. Day
But to me the start of it all
Our first date
We snuck out early in the morning
You drove and sang to me in the cold
Do remember where we went?
We went to the mall
So many firsts happened that day
I will always remember the things you'v said and done
February 23, 2010
Who knew being an artist would come in hand
You grabbed me when i was painting
Decided you missed me too much to wait 3 more hours
Ill never know what happened during 6th period that day
The school basement is so much more memorable now
We had our first kiss there
February 26, 2010
Who knew tutoring would be so fun
Or at least thats what my parents that i was doing
We had 2 hours together
Not nearly enough time but we made it work
As soon as school let out we drove to the park
So much for playing on the swings
It poured rain and never stopped
My mom never did believe i fell into a puddle of mud
April 28, 2010
The best date of my life took place
We didnt eat dinner
We didnt watch a movie
Everything was closed
And everyone was asleep
We snuck out at 1 in the morning
You even stole your mom's car
How i love the park
We walked until i fell on you from fear of what was hiding
"Dont worry. I'll protect with my life. Mo matter what." You said
I fell in love that night
You told me you love me
"I love you too" I replied.
We started fooling around but it didnt go far
5 a.m was when my alarm started to ring and thats when we speed home
I didnt make it past 2nd period before i crashed
I missed you so much that day
Your mom forbid you from going to school sense you had the "flu"
June 7, 2010
That night we truely made love come alive
My parents left on vacation and you slept over
Not much sleeping happened
We proved to eachother what our love really means
You were my first
My only
I felt as though the whole world disappeared
It ended too soon
You had to go home before your parents woke up
July 14, 2010
Did you forget?
I stayed up crying
I didnt want to believe what i heard
No answer
I pra...
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Grey is my color, A mix of white and black, Pleasant on the outside, But inside, watch your back. Happy smiles, eager ears, You don't know what it's like, to listen to your fears. ... I believe in Yesterday.
Grey is my color,
A mix of white and black,
Pleasant on the outside,
But inside, watch your back.
Happy smiles, eager ears,
You don't know what it's like,
to listen to your fears.
...
I believe in Yesterday.
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The world is a bit boring when there’s absolutely nothing to do. I chill at home and do a bit of nothing because the sun is out to get my skin! (Like seriously, though. You could perhaps fry some eggs and make pancakes on the sidewalk out of that hyperbole!) So I am stuck indoors, watching films, painting, drawing, not really writing, and holding onto the tempest of… air conditioning. I can’t even sit at my living room computer because it’s so freaking hot in there (despite the fan)....
The world is a bit boring when there’s absolutely nothing to do. I chill at home and do a bit of nothing because the sun is out to get my skin! (Like seriously, though. You could perhaps fry some eggs and make pancakes on the sidewalk out of that hyperbole!)
So I am stuck indoors, watching films, painting, drawing, not really writing, and holding onto the tempest of… air conditioning. I can’t even sit at my living room computer because it’s so freaking hot in there (despite the fan).
By the way, I never really spoke about how I put up all my IB art class pieces up in my room, did I? Well, we have a corner full of those, and another side of the room with a half-mural (which I need to fix, big time). There is also a broken wire peace beside the corner, which I need to fix, too… but I need masking tape (black masking tape).
& if I could, I would totally take off in some type of public transportation system and visit my friend at the gallery, but the gallery closes at… [Yes, I went to check -_-] 5 p.m. and although there is like less than 45 minutes left, no I am not going to fry my skin off…
Damn, I’m stupid.
Anywho, I want a film to watch, and I’m totally gonna get off and try to scry for a few ideas, because I feel closed in, confused, lost, and without anything to do… like… no clear ideas on idleground unless I planned to work with Fey and finish my abstract painting… (which looks like branches on fire so far.. lol)
BUT BLAH!!!!!!
G’bye ♥
P.s.
My birthday was coolastic until it ended up being a normal day. :/
Does that happen much with anyone? ♫♪
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Before I begin this time, please keep in mind I'm writing on almost no sleep. I fell asleep at around 5:30 this morning and woke up at eight...So out of it... So I'm probably going to digress far more than I usually would and sooner or later while writing this I'm probably just going to go way off track from what I start with. I've been thinking alot about school lately. For anyone who might not already know I'm going to be a freshman at Northern Kentucky...
Before I begin this time, please keep in mind I'm writing on almost no sleep. I fell asleep at around 5:30 this morning and woke up at eight...So out of it... So I'm probably going to digress far more than I usually would and sooner or later while writing this I'm probably just going to go way off track from what I start with.
I've been thinking alot about school lately. For anyone who might not already know I'm going to be a freshman at Northern Kentucky University in less than a month and I rarely stop telling people how excited and giddy I'm getting about it.
I recommend this college to people if you want to go somewhere where making friends will become about as difficult as breathing. EVERYONE on that campus is awesome, I mean <i>everyone</i>. Orientation was a 30-hour deal and in that time I made several friends. And I think I'm a really weird person and scared off a LOT of people in middle school and high school. It's so inclusive there, it's amazing. And the students there that were on orientation staff are totally unafraid to be casual. The commencement ceremony was pretty much all of them dancing to a medley of a bunch of popular songs from the radio. (I'm guessing that's where they picked the songs from. A bunch of pop and hip-hop, and I never listen to radio stations.) And when we were divided into subgroups led by two staff members each, I was taken under the wings of possibly two of the goofiest ones there. The way we all introduced ourselves was this alliterative game I really can't recall the name of where each person had to introduce themselves by saying "I'm [insert adjective starting with your first initial here] [insert first name here]" and had to make some sort of gesture applying to their "name".
For example, I was "Awesome Ashley". XD And my gesture was two thumbs up and a huge grin as I introduced myself. For more examples, I there was also a Mysterious Mike [smoothly shield face with hand], Dancing Diana [do the Madonna "Vogue"], and Catlike Christine [scratch the air] in that group. Not exactly something that would be used as an icebreaker in a corporate setting, but first of all I have NO interest in being part of that anyway, and secondly it was fun. And that's what counts.
NKU's Orientation is one of those memories I'd be perfectly content to relive several times over. It was, simply, amazing. Two really good friends of mine I'd kn...
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nothing new there.. ever feel like your a guinea pig running on one of those wheel thingys??? yeah okay.. never mind Yesterday I was weeding my mom's garden. Not sure if it was a garden persay, but it had lots of beautiful plants in it.. so call it what you will, and I will call it a garden. The plants are beautiful, they are crowded in. Amongst them are weeds and lots of them I sat there listening to my music on loud, as loud as the player would go.
nothing new there.. ever feel like your a guinea pig running on one of those wheel thingys??? yeah okay.. never mind
Yesterday I was weeding my mom's garden. Not sure if it was a garden persay, but it had lots of beautiful plants in it.. so call it what you will, and I will call it a garden.
The plants are beautiful, they are crowded in. Amongst them are weeds and lots of them
I sat there listening to my music on loud, as loud as the player would go.
This thought popped into my head about the weeding and the garden. It's like my life for example.. Before I accept God, I had a lot of weeds in it.. They were entangled into everything. God weeds out the things in our lives that aren't right or good for us. It takes years, sometimes a lifetime to weed those things out.
But he is the Gardener and he keeps going until it's finished. Never once does he give up, he tends to his children everyday and very carefully. That is the thought that came to me while I was weeding yesterday. We are God's children, He is our Shepard, we are all part of God's wonderful garden and he is our caretaker and he does a wonderful job. His love is unconditional.
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I feel like I am losing control... A control I have worked so hard to maintain so that someone doesn't end up hurt. My temper flares more often than I keep track, and there are times when I just start to cry for no apparent reason. At work I pace to keep myself focused and mentally grounded. Last Saturday it didn't work. Half of the time I was pacing I didn't know where I was, and the remaining time I spent thinking: "Give me a knife, give me a razor blade. Give me something so I can ha...
I feel like I am losing control... A control I have worked so hard to maintain so that someone doesn't end up hurt. My temper flares more often than I keep track, and there are times when I just start to cry for no apparent reason. At work I pace to keep myself focused and mentally grounded. Last Saturday it didn't work. Half of the time I was pacing I didn't know where I was, and the remaining time I spent thinking: "Give me a knife, give me a razor blade. Give me something so I can have some sort of release."
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Crystal and Rachel are meeting tomorrow morning. Amanda won't be there 'cause she has strep throat and a fever; poor girl. Crystal and Rachel are going with me to my appointment with Pat tomorrow at 9 am. Andrew's dad died on May 30, 2010 at 8: 25 am. Visitation is at Cornerstone Bible Fellowship from 4-7 pm. "If I had thirty seconds to live, this is how I would want to spend them... Looking into your eyes." ~Xena to Gabrielle
Crystal and Rachel are meeting tomorrow morning. Amanda won't be there 'cause she has strep throat and a fever; poor girl. Crystal and Rachel are going with me to my appointment with Pat tomorrow at 9 am. Andrew's dad died on May 30, 2010 at 8: 25 am. Visitation is at Cornerstone Bible Fellowship from 4-7 pm.
"If I had thirty seconds to live, this is how I would want to spend them... Looking into your eyes." ~Xena to Gabrielle
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What is addiction? Is it someone or something you can't get enough of? Something keeps you coming back for more. Which addiction is worse, drug addiction or sex addiction?
What is addiction? Is it someone or something you can't get enough of? Something keeps you coming back for more. Which addiction is worse, drug addiction or sex addiction?
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I'm tired of faking a smile and pretending everything's okay when it isn't. When the smile hides the frown, a laugh hides the tears. I may not show it, and no may be aware of it, but I'm slowly dying inside.
I'm tired of faking a smile and pretending everything's okay when it isn't. When the smile hides the frown, a laugh hides the tears. I may not show it, and no may be aware of it, but I'm slowly dying inside.
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by Wind Chaser
6 hours ago, In Anger, Angst, Bitter, Depression, Escape, Hate, My life, Pain, Personal, Teen issues.
100 words.
All.
0 comments.
Had two sexual encounters on Wednesday with guys I didn't really know. Cut myself again last night, it was worse than last time. But, it was a release. I just want to be held and told everything will be okay! But, I know it's not going to happen. I'm lost, I don't know who I even am anymore. I feel like one of these days I'm just going to quit caring and I'm going to let go of all the control I have fought so hard to maintain. If that happens, I know someone will end up hurt.
Had two sexual encounters on Wednesday with guys I didn't really know. Cut myself again last night, it was worse than last time. But, it was a release. I just want to be held and told everything will be okay! But, I know it's not going to happen. I'm lost, I don't know who I even am anymore.
I feel like one of these days I'm just going to quit caring and I'm going to let go of all the control I have fought so hard to maintain. If that happens, I know someone will end up hurt.
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I hate it when I don't know what I feel... I spend so much of my time in oblivion. Maybe Sid doesn't care as much as I think he does. He can't stay mad at me forever over what others are saying. I can't control what others think or say, they are entitled to their own opinion.
I hate it when I don't know what I feel... I spend so much of my time in oblivion. Maybe Sid doesn't care as much as I think he does. He can't stay mad at me forever over what others are saying. I can't control what others think or say, they are entitled to their own opinion.
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At the ER at Skiff, being transferred to Mercy-Franklin. Been here since 12ish. Crystal stayed till almost two. Talked to Rachel. Want and need to talk to Sid, tried calling. He was sleeping. I'm terrified of how he will react when he finds out, and if he will care enough to come when I need him. I love him so much it hurts. Granted, he didn't know when he broke up with me yesterday that it was the worst thing he could do at the moment. I just want to run. I'm tired ...
At the ER at Skiff, being transferred to Mercy-Franklin. Been here since 12ish. Crystal stayed till almost two. Talked to Rachel. Want and need to talk to Sid, tried calling. He was sleeping.
I'm terrified of how he will react when he finds out, and if he will care enough to come when I need him. I love him so much it hurts. Granted, he didn't know when he broke up with me yesterday that it was the worst thing he could do at the moment.
I just want to run. I'm tired of waiting... I'm tired of fighting. I just can't feel right now; it's easier not to.
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I feel so dead inside. I'm a living zombie... I'm just going through the motions. I'm lying when I say I'm fine. A smile hides the frown and a laugh hides the tears. Nothing is fine. When I don't want to feel, I can't stop. And when I want to feel I'm so out of it that I can't.
I feel so dead inside. I'm a living zombie... I'm just going through the motions.
I'm lying when I say I'm fine. A smile hides the frown and a laugh hides the tears. Nothing is fine. When I don't want to feel, I can't stop. And when I want to feel I'm so out of it that I can't.
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It's a constant battle to be good enough. To be able to measure up to everyone else's standards. But I'm never allowed to pass the test. The eyes are a mirror into the soul. It's too bad no one ever sees the truth reflected in them... Why can I pretend I'm okay and everyone believes it, but when I show them that I'm not they think I should be? Some people believe in hell, but the truth is life itself is hell. Why do I feel unworthy of being happy or of being loved? The...
It's a constant battle to be good enough. To be able to measure up to everyone else's standards. But I'm never allowed to pass the test. The eyes are a mirror into the soul. It's too bad no one ever sees the truth reflected in them... Why can I pretend I'm okay and everyone believes it, but when I show them that I'm not they think I should be?
Some people believe in hell, but the truth is life itself is hell. Why do I feel unworthy of being happy or of being loved?
The voices talk to me and I answer. Some would call me crazy, but for me it's normal.
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I just wish I could turn back the clock... April 2010. One single month of true happiness in a lifetime of misery. Eight hours of pure joy. Intense passion. All gone now. Lost forever with nothing left of those two days but a memory. Some people say time heals all. But, it doesn't. Some wounds can start to heal and then be ripped open again. Why do I see a brick wall when I look to the future? Words that would begin to describe how I feel at the moment: Numb. It's easier ...
I just wish I could turn back the clock... April 2010. One single month of true happiness in a lifetime of misery. Eight hours of pure joy. Intense passion. All gone now. Lost forever with nothing left of those two days but a memory.
Some people say time heals all. But, it doesn't. Some wounds can start to heal and then be ripped open again. Why do I see a brick wall when I look to the future? Words that would begin to describe how I feel at the moment: Numb. It's easier to block it all out than to analyze it right now. I'm empty inside, and I'm alone on the outside. The smile is a lie...
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07/29/2010 Why i so life complicated??...why is it when your in high school people expect way too much out of you?..why is the when you do a miastake, it seem like if it's the end of the world? i have tried to be the perfect child my family expects out of me, but when i do a slight mistake all of what i've worked for ends. i have to start from square one. yes i appear to be the perfect child, but in the inside i have a ticking bomb, and i feel like the expolsion is near. i ...
07/29/2010
Why i so life complicated??...why is it when your in high school people expect way too much out of you?..why is the when you do a miastake, it seem like if it's the end of the world? i have tried to be the perfect child my family expects out of me, but when i do a slight mistake all of what i've worked for ends. i have to start from square one.
yes i appear to be the perfect child, but in the inside i have a ticking bomb, and i feel like the expolsion is near. i have subside it by cutting myself, but that no longer seems to work.
i have made desions base on what my family want to see and hear. i have become their robot. I have no life of my own, because it has been stolen by them. when i try to take control they seem to find a way to lure me back into their gasps.
im suffacating. i have no reason to live, but when i do they take it away. they think they are doing what's best for me but when in reality they are hurting me the most.
they say they let me live as a teenager, but it seem more like a teenager in prison. i dont go out, because they don't trust me as much as too see i will always do the right thing.
i need a way out but it seems too much for now.....
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Okay, so for a couple of days I've been sleeping with my playlist playing in the background. At night I leave my iPod on the dock and sleep. Obviously when the playlist ends the music will stop playing since I don't have it set on repeat. The first time I did this, I woke up the next morning to find the iPod next to the dock...
Okay, so for a couple of days I've been sleeping with my playlist playing in the background. At night I leave my iPod on the dock and sleep. Obviously when the playlist ends the music will stop playing since I don't have it set on repeat.
The first time I did this, I woke up the next morning to find the iPod next to the dock instead of on it! I put it on and it was playing a song from another playlist. Weird, maybe I got annoyed and took out my iPod while sleeping AND changed the song! Or there's a ghost in my room who just doesn't enjoy my taste in music.
Last night, I did it again. Slept while my iPod was on the dock. I remember I got annoyed because the music kept on waking me up and paused the song with the remote which is always next to me. I'm sure I would never reach out to the dock to remove the iPod, that's just too much effort and the 'awake' me would never bother (maybe the 'asleep' me is less lazy?). However, I woke up this morning to find that my iPod, once again, had been removed from the dock!
Either I need to record myself while sleeping or that ghost really needs to tell me what kind of music it likes!
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I can't believe you. I wish I could actually talk to you about this shit without getting people in trouble. Instead I'll be satisfied with blocking you from everything and saying "Hey, you're annoying and I don't like you, Bye." I so wish I could give you a piece of my mind. twofaced bitch :/
I can't believe you.
I wish I could actually talk to you about this shit without getting people in trouble.
Instead I'll be satisfied with blocking you from everything and saying
"Hey, you're annoying and I don't like you, Bye."
I so wish I could give you a piece of my mind.
twofaced bitch :/
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I now know who I love. It was hard to know who it was. But that day that he touched my shoulder. I felt a sparck it was like wow. So now I have feelings for my vampire boy. He is so sweet and now I know who I love it amazing. I love him he is so my type. He's a rocker/want to be emo. We get long every well and he does stuff for me. He and I play around a lot like we wresel. He gives me hug from behind me it seems weird. When he's not looking I stare at him and once I cought him looking at me ...
I now know who I love. It was hard to know who it was. But that day that he touched my shoulder. I felt a sparck it was like wow. So now I have feelings for my vampire boy. He is so sweet and now I know who I love it amazing. I love him he is so my type. He's a rocker/want to be emo. We get long every well and he does stuff for me. He and I play around a lot like we wresel. He gives me hug from behind me it seems weird. When he's not looking I stare at him and once I cought him looking at me like he liked me. He had it in his eyes. We sit very close to each other. He talks to me more than our friends the girls at less. We almost kissed once but he's lips close to my lips. Just by a inch I went to close the space but he moved. But I still love him he's my vampire boy.
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well if you read my previouse journal entry than you know that I planned on asking a new gurl out soon! well I asked her today and.....well, let me tell the story. today was youth class for my church and recently our old church was burnt down. today we were given permission to look around and see what the inside looked like. she and I would alot of times hang out in the back room and goof off on a piano back there. needless to say it is gone now. she wanted to look back there and so ...
well if you read my previouse journal entry than you know that I planned on asking a new gurl out soon! well I asked her today and.....well, let me tell the story.
today was youth class for my church and recently our old church was burnt down. today we were given permission to look around and see what the inside looked like. she and I would alot of times hang out in the back room and goof off on a piano back there. needless to say it is gone now. she wanted to look back there and so I went with her. I let her comment and then told her that I was starting to feel for her. her eyes got wide and she said "no" and ran out the door, leaving me in there alone. I just smiled because I knew that was exactly how she would react so I picked up a pipe off of the ground, broke it, then left the building.
I guess it was a stupid move for me, but it was the only one I knew to make. better luck next time.
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Regardless of what you believe in (or don't believe in), please take the time to read this. I just wrote this in a Facebook note and thought I'd share it here. ------ As a man in the household of...
Regardless of what you believe in (or don't believe in), please take the time to read this. I just wrote this in a Facebook note and thought I'd share it here.
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As a man in the household of the King, I proclaim this loudly:
Daughters of God, may you not equate beauty with cheap perfume and red lipstick. May you not equate love with one night stands and empty and broken promises. This world has cheapened God's grace and your worth, making it into a novelty item to be bought and sold. This should never be. You don't have to live in shame or guilt, because you are already forgiven. Accept that and live in the promises that the Lord reveals to you in His Word. Come to the throne of grace with your prayers, do not think of yourselves as unclean. For the Lord does not see you as yourself, but as covered in the blood of the Lamb, viewing you as pure and righteous.
Your Father's love is unconditional. His desire is that you come home, come to the place where you long for Him as He does you. Don't let broken dreams and buried scars keep you from entering the presence of the Lord. As seen in the Book of Hosea, despite what the world saw, the Lord still redeemed and still pursued.
"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." - Proverbs 19:21
And if you are foreign to this love, to this deep, intimate relationship with the Bridegroom, do not hesitate to come to repentance. The Lord desires for the prodigal to come home. Do not let your mind deceive you or your heart condemn you. Learn from the Lord what you were created for. The world may see you as wretched and unclean. But do not dismiss the Lord's great work.
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I've never written a journal on here before, so this is my first. I'm just the person who has the near-constant need to vent and I have decided that through journaling AND poems I can get more out and I'll probably drive myself less crazy then. So the ranting begins. First: Screw summer. Or at least the heat and humidity combination. Louisville being the nice healthy blend of concrete and little vegetation that it is, it gets so hot here it's miserabl...
I've never written a journal on here before, so this is my first. I'm just the person who has the near-constant need to vent and I have decided that through journaling AND poems I can get more out and I'll probably drive myself less crazy then.
So the ranting begins.
First:
Screw summer. Or at least the heat and humidity combination. Louisville being the nice healthy blend of concrete and little vegetation that it is, it gets so hot here it's miserable.
Imagine this heat post-rainstorm. Because then there's evaporation EVERYWHERE and the air is soaked.
Now imagine me deciding that this post-rainstorm time is a good time to walk to a grocery store three miles away, because I couldn't get a ride. (I'm too impatient to have waited until tomorrow.) And note to self: IT WAS NOT A GOOD TIME. I overheat easily and walking back with a bunch of grocery bags in that heat is hell. Speaking of hell...
Second:
One of my friends just finally moved out on her own like I did. I'm very happy for that. But she's in one of the worst areas in the city. She was put into an apartment with no functioning lock, and a lot of older guys--some she's not even that familiar with--just go in and out as they please. Her boyfriend--one of my best friends--goes to visit her alot and that at least makes me more comfortable, but not enough. Especially since one of these lovely gentlemen threatened to get her intoxicated and take advantage of her to her boyfriend. This same guy tried to put a hand on me when I met him.
Now, people like him disgust me to know end and there's little I wouldn't give to not just be all talk and mean it when I talk about smacking him to his weed-fried senses. And no, I'm not assuming he smokes it. Considering his introductory statement was "I BEEN HIGH SINCE FOUR A.M." and he was showing off what looked an AWFUL lot like a plastic baggie of coke in his pocket, I don't think I'm stereotyping.
My friends don't belong in neighborhoods where most of the people are like him. And they certainly are.
Third:
I am scared of learning to drive.
Is this strange for an almost-nineteen-year-old? I mean, my stepmom didn't get a liscense until she was either twenty or twenty-one.. I would rather have mine sooner than that but I have no clue when I will get it. I don't even have a permit. I can't drive at ALL unless golf carts were allowed...
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ok so if you cant tell already im a giant band dork lol!! =] im apart of my schools marching band and im in the colorguard and its my life. i live and breath marching band.....i spend most of my time wit the marching band or doing something for them Is there anyother band dorks out there?????? *looks around* Come forth band dorks and join in my happyness
ok so if you cant tell already im a giant band dork lol!! =] im apart of my schools marching band and im in the colorguard and its my life. i live and breath marching band.....i spend most of my time wit the marching band or doing something for them
Is there anyother band dorks out there?????? *looks around*
Come forth band dorks and join in my happyness
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i dont care anymore i want to be single or whatever i feel like shit its his fault not one damn second he will give me not even one 6 fucking days i call, no fucking answer he said he loved me he said he cared do i care? not anymore. nope . . . . . . i hate him!!!!! i hate him i hate him i hate him im sooo bad my heart is shattered probly will never be fixed ever again because of that...
i dont care anymore
i want to be single or whatever
i feel like shit
its his fault
not one damn second he will give me
not even one
6 fucking days
i call, no fucking answer
he said he loved me
he said he cared
do i care?
not anymore.
nope
.
.
.
.
.
.
i hate him!!!!!
i hate him
i hate him
i hate him
im sooo bad
my heart is shattered
probly will never be fixed ever again
because of that ass hole
because he wont even let me know if hes okay
he just picks up his phone
and hangs up right away
and then he wont answer at all
probly because hes having sex with his fucking
x box
or hes "sleeping"
yeah right do i really care anymore
yes
but i shouldnt
cause obviously he doesnt give a shit about me anymore
and if he were to die
i wouldnt even know
you know why?
cause we are a fucking secret
he obviously hates me
idk i feel like shit
i have sooo much pain in my body and my heart
because of him
i just want to
hurt myself
but i wont
i know its not worth it
HE'S not worth it!!!
but obviously
im not worth his time either
fuck him!!
i cant even break up with him
he wont call
or answer
is this really our goodbye to eachother?
really this is the most lamest fucking
breakup i ever had
i have more respect for the ex i had who cheated on me
and thats sad
errrrrrrrrrrrr
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So many songs are stuck in my head. they're really hard to get rid of and they are irritating me. I think I'll probably learn all of the lyrics without even looking at the lyric sheet damn it! One of the songs stuck in my head is: Fly me too the moon Geez you wanna have spring in jupiter? you just can't be normal!
So many songs are stuck in my head.
they're really hard to get rid of and they are irritating me.
I think I'll probably learn all of the lyrics without even looking at the lyric sheet damn it!
One of the songs stuck in my head is:
Fly me too the moon
Geez you wanna have spring in jupiter?
you just can't be normal!
Search synonyms for My life:
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