-
"I don't give a fuck about you so get out the damn window and stop waving at me you crazy son of a bitch" Yeah I don't know, feeling really randomly happy lol. Oh, and I would never say that out loud lmao just did for fun. Apathy=robot XD
"I don't give a fuck about you so get out the damn window and stop waving at me you crazy son of a bitch"
Yeah I don't know, feeling really randomly happy lol. Oh, and I would never say that out loud lmao just did for fun. Apathy=robot XD
-
-
So me and Jasmine broke up today. I don't know what to feel. This is actually my first REAL break up. I feel all hot inside and just when I thought things were changing for me...this happens. I don't really know what I'm going to do. We're still friends which I'm glad about, but now... It happened on facebook, irony I guess haha. Started on facebook and it ends on facebook. FML. here's the message she sent "In case you havent been checking your tagged page I'm breaking up with you, a...
So me and Jasmine broke up today. I don't know what to feel. This is actually my first REAL break up. I feel all hot inside and just when I thought things were changing for me...this happens. I don't really know what I'm going to do. We're still friends which I'm glad about, but now... It happened on facebook, irony I guess haha. Started on facebook and it ends on facebook. FML. here's the message she sent
"In case you havent been checking your tagged page I'm breaking up with you, and you ought to know why. (Tagged home page). I hope we can still be friends,but never in a lifetime would I want to be your girlfriend anymore."
So I guess she kinda found out I was bi...I mean I guess it's for the best, and hey we grow and learn from these things. I guess...we just weren't meant to be. I feel kinda sick now. Sick of myself. Death would be easier than this love. I'll live, I have to right. I feel like shit.
-
I FUCKING HATE IT HERE!!!!! im always dizzy, its boring as hell!!! the food is nasty, everything is made differently, i wanna go home.*starts wailing and crying i wanna go home* *still cryin* i dont care that ill only get to do this once!! i hate it here!!!!!! if I dont get u guys (ki,alex,ty,britt) anything, im sorry, theres no gift shop at the hotel and im not supposed to leave the hotel, i wanna go home i hate it here! sure, double decker buses are fun but its still kinda boring..............
I FUCKING HATE IT HERE!!!!! im always dizzy, its boring as hell!!! the food is nasty, everything is made differently, i wanna go home.*starts wailing and crying i wanna go home* *still cryin* i dont care that ill only get to do this once!! i hate it here!!!!!! if I dont get u guys (ki,alex,ty,britt) anything, im sorry, theres no gift shop at the hotel and im not supposed to leave the hotel, i wanna go home i hate it here! sure, double decker buses are fun but its still kinda boring........... I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!!! im homesick, my chest is aching, i wanna go home. and just to let u guys know, i cried on the inside writing this.....
-
For i now know the truth about poetry and me. without it i don't know where i would be in all honestly i think i would be lost. to think that if ididn't express myself i would be lock away in the darkest parts of my self. from the moment i started to write it was to free me of the pain the pain that wouldn't let me be. but i finally got my wish and i was go figure finally free...
For i now know the truth about poetry and me. without it i don't know where i would be in all honestly i think i would be lost. to think that if ididn't express myself i would be lock away in the darkest parts of my self. from the moment i started to write it was to free me of the pain the pain that wouldn't let me be. but i finally got my wish and i was go figure finally free...
-
WARNING! Ok this is me venting so yea... My life is soooo convusing like REALLY Ok so here I only wanted to flirt with Tiffany(my friend Adrian's ex fence) cuz Adrian was flirting with her alittle and that hes dating the girl I'm in love with(Star) so It moved to making out to...other stuff, BUT we didn't have sex cuz she was on her period and bla bla bla. But I fell gilty cuz...Idk stars dating adrian and I'm single so...why? I can't belive I told her( miness th...
WARNING! Ok this is me venting so yea...
My life is soooo convusing like REALLY
Ok so here I only wanted to flirt with Tiffany(my friend Adrian's ex fence)
cuz Adrian was flirting with her alittle and that hes dating the girl I'm in love with(Star) so It moved to making out to...other stuff, BUT we didn't have sex cuz she was on her period and bla bla bla. But I fell gilty cuz...Idk
stars dating adrian and I'm single so...why? I can't belive I told her( miness the detalls) it bothered her...GOD, I hate drama but this whole summer was drama and just incases she DUZ read this the drama started b4 you hun. She s not even my gf and I call her my honny bunny, but she don't mind -sigh- I don't think I can have sex but the sadest thing is I still want to save it for....her -sigh- I'm pothetic!!!
-
damb:'( this fucking sucks im like all depressed and shit i really miss iowa i wanna go up there real bad things wer easier things wer funner the ppl wer real life was good im not happy anymore its gay down here does anyone else miss something so bad everytime theyh think about it or say or listen to somethin they did there or with trhat person that they almost cry please share your pain
damb:'( this fucking sucks im like all depressed and shit i really miss iowa i wanna go up there real bad things wer easier things wer funner the ppl wer real life was good im not happy anymore its gay down here does anyone else miss something so bad everytime theyh think about it or say or listen to somethin they did there or with trhat person that they almost cry please share your pain
-
i think of what my parents say..how they dnt approve of me nd him... i hate wen they say all this crap bout how he is too old wen really... age is a case of mind over matter... if you dont mind it dnt matter... they need to look at the obvious on how he respects me.... parents dnt understand... well mine dnt ne ways... they c a girl in her room all depressed but if they saw how happy i am with him they would know that that sad little depressed gurl i once was is not me ne more but i have to b...
i think of what my parents say..how they dnt approve of me nd him... i hate wen they say all this crap bout how he is too old wen really... age is a case of mind over matter... if you dont mind it dnt matter... they need to look at the obvious on how he respects me.... parents dnt understand... well mine dnt ne ways... they c a girl in her room all depressed but if they saw how happy i am with him they would know that that sad little depressed gurl i once was is not me ne more but i have to be fake around them cause they dnt accept me for me... a gurl is supposed to be a daddys gurl... but i dnt got that... it sux... they need to open their eyes nd realize the good shit... cause once im gone i aint coming bakk... why dnt they accept me for me? do they lyk me being depressed? cause honestly i am terrified of that gurl i once was... i nevr wanna go bakk to that... the only thing i can do is ask why?
-
I actually can't wait to go home. I've been in Georgia for...yeah don't remember when I left lmao. (It was on a train and really early. lol) I'll be going home on July 27th so yay me. lol Really miss you guys and a very special lady I haven't seen in ever. *Cough Jasmine Cough* lol. So can't wait to talk to you guys laters. I'm going so.... (Tris Out)
I actually can't wait to go home. I've been in Georgia for...yeah don't remember when I left lmao. (It was on a train and really early. lol) I'll be going home on July 27th so yay me. lol Really miss you guys and a very special lady I haven't seen in ever. *Cough Jasmine Cough* lol. So can't wait to talk to you guys laters. I'm going so.... (Tris Out)
-
It really pisses me off when people are so damn stubborn and idiotic that they can't see how...foolish and hurtful their stereotypes are! Take homophobia for instance. So many people are discriminatory against the gays just for liking people of the same sex. Homosexuals are having their rights- rights that are in the CONSTITUTION- stripped from them for no apparent reason, much less a credible one. And some people try to put up the Christianity argument. 'Gays are s...
It really pisses me off when people are so damn stubborn and idiotic that they can't see how...foolish and hurtful their stereotypes are! Take homophobia for instance. So many people are discriminatory against the gays just for liking people of the same sex. Homosexuals are having their rights- rights that are in the CONSTITUTION- stripped from them for no apparent reason, much less a credible one.
And some people try to put up the Christianity argument. 'Gays are sinful and are destined for Hell because they don't believe in the ways of God' and all that shit. Three words to that: What. The. Fuck? Are you retarded or something. Since when did you start speaking for the gay community? Who's to say that gays aren't Christian; that they don't believe in God and whatnot? It is in the first amendment of the Constitution that people have the right to their own religion. People act like Christianity is the only religion on Earth(or any other planet for that matter). They are so conceited and presumptuous to say that their religion is the only correct one when there's hundreds more on Earth.
Also, why is a gay person's sex life anyone's buisness? You don't go around questioning heterosexual sex. So, just because two people are of the same gender, it means everyone suddenly has the right to pry in their person life? Again I say, what the hell?! Because you're in love with someone of the same sex, you get to have your fundemental rights taken away?
Furthermore, people go and compare homosexuality to bestiality and pedophilia! How the hell are those things synonymous?! Even the most ignorant of people could tell the difference. The main difference is that what two men or women get up to is consensual. Having sex with a child- a child! someone underage and illegal!- and an animal is not.
It is unfathomable to me as to why homosexuality is now crime. Homophobia is wrong on many levels. Love is love.
-
dear diary you know those cool sleaves without a shirt attached to to a shirt those chicks where that don't have any particular use or function?i like them but they are very redundent like who is ever only cold on their forarms? does that make sence? I think they look really sexy but thats like chewing a pick,what the fuck.and while we are on the subject what about toe socks thnats just weird is there any reason for them. and those fingerless gloves the only use those have is to publicly stat...
dear diary you know those cool sleaves without a shirt attached to to a shirt those chicks where that don't have any particular use or function?i like them but they are very redundent like who is ever only cold on their forarms? does that make sence? I think they look really sexy but thats like chewing a pick,what the fuck.and while we are on the subject what about toe socks thnats just weird is there any reason for them. and those fingerless gloves the only use those have is to publicly state how gay you are.who would wer them its gay.
P.S.for whoever is reading my diary fuck off but first leave a comment about any of these functionless things you nosy bastard.
-
dear diary, edward collins is a fag he wers eye liner and is an over rated parasite and the guy who is a dog would kick his ass reallisticly then again are vampires and werwolfs realistic? FUCK YA IT IS lol and what the fuck is bellas problem with freaks and monsters and she openly cheats on her boyfriend as far as i can tell,she is a glamorized slut. im not an expert but how does like no one notice that the vampire dude is in 11th grade for like 200 years shouldnt this be cal...
dear diary,
edward collins is a fag he wers eye liner and is an over rated parasite and the guy who is a dog would kick his ass reallisticly then again are vampires and werwolfs realistic? FUCK YA IT IS lol and what the fuck is bellas problem with freaks and monsters and she openly cheats on her boyfriend as far as i can tell,she is a glamorized slut. im not an expert but how does like no one notice that the vampire dude is in 11th grade for like 200 years shouldnt this be called to the attentionj of the school board and what the hell is up with edward he doesnt change in sunlight he is just embarrased he uses body glitter and it only shows in the sunlight duh and what the hell how come no one just notices that guy stop a fuckin big ol' truck from crushin bella and if he is so fast he should join track and just run slightly faster than the other guys duh like if he3 wasnt such a pansy he would do football or soccer or some shit use ur superpowers to use stupid! thas just what i noticed whatever.
-
Fuckin love this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUhfa22lzqc&NR=1
Fuckin love this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUhfa22lzqc&NR=1
-
dear diary, i read what my friend wrote in his diary about what he hated bout some people so i'm makin my own but none of the same as his 1when your talking to someone about something they did and they ask "who" who the fuck you think dumbass the tv?do you think the tv forgot to pick its nasty fuckin used underwear off the floor?!?!? 2 i hate it when someone leaves their clothes on the bathroom floor when there is a dirty clothes hamper ...
dear diary, i read what my friend wrote in his diary about what he hated bout some people so i'm makin my own but none of the same as his
1when your talking to someone about something they did and they ask "who" who the fuck you think dumbass the tv?do you think the tv forgot to pick its nasty fuckin used underwear off the floor?!?!?
2 i hate it when someone leaves their clothes on the bathroom floor when there is a dirty clothes hamper 2 feet away thas not even the length X( lazy ass bastard or throws trash on the floor when there is a trashcan right there i mean really?honestly its right there???ur here that close that fuckin close
3 people who dont recycle god damb is it that hard really just tell the trash company u wanna resycle then just seperate recycleables from trash 2FUCKIN STEPS 2 1 2 that simple
4 people who are fat and say they got some thyroid problem and shit and they dont even know what a thyroid is u is just in denile and dont wanna get off ur lazy ass and excersise its because of you america is the fattest country in the world
5 people who talk trash when they are the worst at watever the fuck it is ur mud staight up dirt so shut your mouth and speak with ur actions cocky bastard
6 people that talk shit even after you beat them god damb get the fuck outta here bitch
7 when you say never mind and the person is like tell me and shit for ten minutes..imma say it slowly.if i wanted to tell u i would have and if i wanted you to mind i wouldnt say mind retard
8 how come everyone expects you to go up to ten when you say top ten jus cuz i say wat the fuck u takin my word do u even no me? wouldx you trust me anytime else and what the fuuck do you care so much how honest i am about whast i will make my top ten list as long as i want.
-
my friend: When I run out of things to talk about, I just stop talking, haha. Usually I don't have that problem though. me: lol i guess not, but i dont ever want to stop talking to him. EVER! my friend: so you like him? Are you kind of online dating? me: i dont know you would have to ask him. i am not quite sure where we stand. but i know his brother likes me and HE has a real gf. peace and loveless my friend: Alright. Well at least you get to talk...
my friend: When I run out of things to talk about, I just stop talking, haha. Usually I don't have that problem though.
me: lol i guess not, but i dont ever want to stop talking to him. EVER!
my friend: so you like him? Are you kind of online dating?
me: i dont know you would have to ask him. i am not quite sure where we stand. but i know his brother likes me and HE has a real gf.
peace and loveless
my friend: Alright. Well at least you get to talk with him. His brother has an account too?
me: no, they share one
me: why?
my friend: Just wondering how you met him then. It's okay. I used to be in some sort of online relationship with a guy. Didn't work out.
me: why not?
me: i have a question.
my friend: Okay you can ask
me: Is it wrong to love someone who might be inlove with someone else?
my friend: Not wrong at all. It happens to so many people. It's happening to me, though I'm trying to stop. But no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If they are married, it is wrong to act on it, but that is a different thing.
me: hes deffinatly not married.
my friend: well then there you go. You do nothing wrong. It is hard to fall for someone online.
me: it is. i think i might LOVE him! and sad thing is i dont know wat to do about it. should i move in? or since he belongs to somone else, back off?
my friend: Well it is okay to love him, but let him make any first moves. If he belongs to someone else, then for now there is nothing you can do except be his friend. Does he know how you feel, or does he think you guys are just playing?
me to HIM by accident: i think i might LOVE him! and sad thing is i dont know wat to do about it. should i move in? or since he belongs to somone else, back off? ugh! why does _ _ _ _ _ make my life so difficault? usually i would never second guess my moves, and now im second guessing everything!
my friend (after i clued her in): Love is confusing. Everyone never knows what to do. The best thing is to keep things as they are for now.
see the prob? I NEED HELP!
bottom line: GUYS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Dose anyone think its okay to like someone even though you think of him as a friend? Because I starting to like a guy but he never a cured to me as liking someone material idk why though. I liked another guy me and my friends back at school call him PURPLESTAR. Its a secret that NO ONE should noe who he is. I just miss purplestar though. I care about the another guy to iam most likly going to make a peom about him though. Purplestar I have I couple of ideas for a peom about him. I miss him so...
Dose anyone think its okay to like someone even though you think of him as a friend? Because I starting to like a guy but he never a cured to me as liking someone material idk why though. I liked another guy me and my friends back at school call him PURPLESTAR. Its a secret that NO ONE should noe who he is. I just miss purplestar though. I care about the another guy to iam most likly going to make a peom about him though. Purplestar I have I couple of ideas for a peom about him. I miss him sooooooooooooooo much iam just going to yell it out...... I MISS YOU PURPLESTAR!!!!
-
I told Michael. I was over at his house, and He had to bring me home because it was getting pretty late. and so we got in the car, and I was just like "michael, theres something I need to tell you." and he was like "ok, well I think I might know what it is, but I'm not sure... Let it off you're chest." So I said "Well, Michael -grand pause- I love you, and I would really like to date you. because i'm afraid that if we don't try we'll never know what could've been" and then it was silent f...
I told Michael.
I was over at his house, and He had to bring me home because it was getting pretty late. and so we got in the car, and I was just like "michael, theres something I need to tell you." and he was like "ok, well I think I might know what it is, but I'm not sure... Let it off you're chest." So I said "Well, Michael -grand pause- I love you, and I would really like to date you. because i'm afraid that if we don't try we'll never know what could've been" and then it was silent for a while. and then we parked in my driveway and he told me that he was glad that I told him. cause now it was up in the air. and i asked him what he thought and he said he ddnt no what to say. and I told him that he shood think about it, and tell me what he thought after he had time to think it over. Then i got out and went inside.
I would elaborate more on how I felt, but i'm too tired now. so I'm going to finish this up and hit the hey, cause I have to get up early for church in the morning. S:|
-
ok, so let me back track alittle.... So, Tyler asked me out durring the school year. I said yes, and then 3 days later he broke up with me. then maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago he asked me back out. and I decided to give him another chance. Then he broke up with me AGAIN. he said there were three reasons. One: he said that my whole theory on dating in my section was going to make me break up with him once marching season started. Even though I told him that the only reason I said that was to ...
ok, so let me back track alittle....
So, Tyler asked me out durring the school year. I said yes, and then 3 days later he broke up with me. then maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago he asked me back out. and I decided to give him another chance. Then he broke up with me AGAIN. he said there were three reasons.
One: he said that my whole theory on dating in my section was going to make me break up with him once marching season started. Even though I told him that the only reason I said that was to make sure that there wouldnt be favoritism. I told him that if we date durring marching season I wasn't going to favor him over the rest. I try to treat each person the same.
ok, reason number two: "I'm used to dating black girls"... yea. pretty much saying that he broke up with me because I was white. Which I think is outrageously stupid. But I guess that's his loss.
Third reason: I was "taking it too slow."... OK REALLY?? WOULD YOU LIKE ME NAKED IN YOUR BED ALREADY???? I mean really?! Dating for 2 days and u say were taking it too slow!! OMG. I'm sorry I'm not a slut.
Anyways, now hes trying to get me to take him back. and I don't think that is going to happen. I mean really... Why would I redate a Racist ManWhore again. OMG. goodbye tyler.
-
-
welll. my best friend (who is mad at me) recently hacked into my account and wrote a poem bashing me for being too depressed. So I just changed all of my settings. I'm still me though!
welll. my best friend (who is mad at me) recently hacked into my account and wrote a poem bashing me for being too depressed. So I just changed all of my settings. I'm still me though!
-
This song is called Still in Love by Beyonce. It's a remake of the love theme from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo Dicaprio and Clair Danes. Beautiful song. Dedicated to Jasmine Renee Singleton. My heart beats your name everytime I hear this song. Love you forever Your spirit intertwined with mine, made me pure. As we look afar to the stars above, we'll live eternally in blissful love.
This song is called Still in Love by Beyonce.
It's a remake of the love theme from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo Dicaprio and Clair Danes. Beautiful song.
Dedicated to Jasmine Renee Singleton.
My heart beats your name everytime I hear this song.
Love you forever
Your spirit intertwined with mine,
made me pure.
As we look afar to the stars above,
we'll live eternally in blissful love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOQf9u4_72w
-
` As I sit heree writinq this notee I feel kinda stupid causee I know whilee I'm sittiinq over pouriinq my feelings out in thiis journal entry your living your life probably even got a couple new qirls buhh I regret lettiinq youu go youu the first boyfriend who would just see that I was down or sad && comee up behind mee & holdd mee till I smiledd.. Every niqht befor I go to bed I re-live memories of mee && youu thee days you would rub my legss or the day youu held my hand whilee you was slee...
` As I sit heree writinq this notee I feel kinda stupid causee I know whilee I'm sittiinq over pouriinq my feelings out in thiis journal entry your living your life probably even got a couple new qirls buhh I regret lettiinq youu go youu the first boyfriend who would just see that I was down or sad && comee up behind mee & holdd mee till I smiledd.. Every niqht befor I go to bed I re-live memories of mee && youu thee days you would rub my legss or the day youu held my hand whilee you was sleepingg in Ms. Thomas class or when mee madee up outsidee of Mr. Carter class.. When we was together I tried my HARDEST not to get my feelings involved cause I knew what would happen && that's part of the reason it happened I always think back && wonder if maybee I wouldn't havee over reacted would we still be together.. Youu madee everythingg else I was stressing about go awayy && now youu what I'm stressing aboutt.. I remember outta no wheree just to do it youu would text mee && sayy I lovee youu && stuff likee that I miss them days if I didn't talk to anyone else as longg as youu texted mee that dayy I was okayy lol buhh that's really how I felt I never really get feelinggs for a boy likee this unless we was together for somee MONTHS we was together for not even a week buhh it felt likee went together themm wholee last twoo months of school.. All I ask is for onee more chancee to see if thiss can work && if not if not I'll movee on NO REGRETS... Thee titlee of this is the day I finally just gavee in thee day we made up from that dumb argument we hadd the dayy youu madee my world of darkness full of light && sunshinee I alwayss listen to brain && never myy heart.. Youu taught mee that I gotta get rid of this guard I got guarding my heart causee it madee my pushh youu awayy I didn't wanna let all this out && say this back to youu when we was together causee I thought you would hurt mee && you didn't mean what youu was sayingg buhh ily alot && caree about youu alot Mr. Moore ♥
`I'm overboard && I need your lovee to pull mee up I can't swimm on my own it's too much feels likee I'm drowningg widd out your lovee so throw yourself out to mee myy LIFESAVER - Justinn Bieber ♥
-
My 'lil brother is staying the nite...I love him to death but I got these new sheets,pillows,everything ...when I went to slepp he was on the floor next to me around six o clock this morning he climbed in my bed,at seven he was holding my hand and wet everything!!!! him,my sister and me are on the floor waiting for my mom to get up so I can wash everything ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!'lil brothers are a pain....
My 'lil brother is staying the nite...I love him to death but I got these new sheets,pillows,everything ...when I went to slepp he was on the floor next to me around six o clock this morning he climbed in my bed,at seven he was holding my hand and wet everything!!!! him,my sister and me are on the floor waiting for my mom to get up so I can wash everything ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!'lil brothers are a pain....
-
Will some one plz tell me y is ur not happy with someone u dont get a divorce Plz tell me y parents make their kids want to kill themselfs Plz tell me y i dont stab my dads head with a knife a millon times But danm it i cant I just really want to die Most of you by now r wondering y but i just hate hearing people cry worst of all my own mom yet alont seeing what she goes throuhg it makes my eyes burn and makes me cry so there for i want to die my life is just so bad sure ...
Will some one plz tell me y is ur not happy with someone u dont get a divorce
Plz tell me y parents make their kids want to kill themselfs
Plz tell me y i dont stab my dads head with a knife a millon times
But danm it i cant
I just really want to die
Most of you by now r wondering y but i just hate hearing people cry worst of all my own mom yet alont seeing what she goes throuhg it makes my eyes burn and makes me cry so there for i want to die my life is just so bad sure there little perks but what if he just decides to finish mom off well DAMN IT DEATH just come and take me cuz i dont want to see that day or even immangine it fuck it now im crying
-
ok, so i've started talking to this new guy, and he's great! he is smart, he can be funny but he's also serious, and he's good with computers. he brings out the best in me, and we can talk for hours without the dreaded loss of interest. he's handsome and elegant, but also rough and edgy. really he's everything i like. but of course with any mr. perfect there has to be a flaw. his? he's taken. of course that's not what i'm ranting about today. the title is 'what is happening?' so i guess i sho...
ok, so i've started talking to this new guy, and he's great! he is smart, he can be funny but he's also serious, and he's good with computers. he brings out the best in me, and we can talk for hours without the dreaded loss of interest. he's handsome and elegant, but also rough and edgy. really he's everything i like. but of course with any mr. perfect there has to be a flaw. his? he's taken. of course that's not what i'm ranting about today. the title is 'what is happening?' so i guess i should explain what i mean.
there are two guys, that are single, my age, and treat me pretty good. one of them i've known and off-and-on loved since 6th grade. the other i've known for a few months, we dated, and his family loves me... the feeling is mutual. but i'm not interested in either of them. actually as of late, i don't even seem to like them. i've been avoiding them, getting testy with them, yelling at them. ugh it's a nightmare! and it's not just them! actually any male i've encountered just seems to piss me off more than anything. it seems like the only guy i can even speak to civilly is mr. perfectly taken.
which brings me to my dilemma, how do i tell this to mr. perfectly taken? sure we've talked about how we like each other, but so far it's mostly been playground flirting. he's not that much older than me, and i'm awfully mature for my age. so on a scale of maturity levels, we're pretty close. we enjoy much of the same things, actually so far i haven't found a subject we really disagree on. still i keep getting cold feet when i try to tell him.
i can't explain it, he's a sweet guy and i know he'd probably just give me some kind of advice. but that's not what i want from him, actually i'm not really sure what i want from him. at this point i think it's more the mystery that's drawing me rather than anything else.
i've always had an attraction for older men. i can hear my psychologist now, "this is probably a result of the abuse you suffered as a child." well maybe it is, maybe it's not. in truth i find guys my own age to be too immature for my tastes. guys about 2-5 years older (19-22), just simulate me more mentally. and it's not a sex thing, because i prefer to stop that in it's tracks. not only would they go to jail, but i'd loose a friend and possibly a boyfriend. but that does not in anyway restrict my flirting abilities.
more importantly why should it? the law says i can't sleep with them until i'm 18, so...
-
Cant sleep , so I'm up all night, I don't know what to think, Its not him thats on my mind, Then who is, this impostor, Who invaded my dreams, A shadow, a figure in the dark, Is it someone I know? Or someone new? Why is it keeping me up, Away from my sleep, Away from my dreams, Why do I feel sad, and afraid, I'm scared, of this figure I see, It walks to me and extends its hand, A figure of a man, I can now see, But something tells ...
Cant sleep , so I'm up all night,
I don't know what to think,
Its not him thats on my mind,
Then who is, this impostor,
Who invaded my dreams,
A shadow, a figure in the dark,
Is it someone I know?
Or someone new?
Why is it keeping me up,
Away from my sleep,
Away from my dreams,
Why do I feel sad, and afraid,
I'm scared, of this figure I see,
It walks to me and extends its hand,
A figure of a man, I can now see,
But something tells me to run away,
But I stay, just looking at him,
Trying to figure out who he is,
I have no clue, but I took his hand,
And with that I made a really good friend,
Who, was once a stranger, is now some one
I care and love for, hes one hand closer
To helping me get out there, to not be afraid of life,
To be able to take that risk, Of making a new friend,
Or and enemy, as long as I have that shadow,
The one who gave me his hand,
The one who gave me a chance,
I know things will be fine,
because now I'm the one to lend my hand
To help him
-
by universallover
on Jun 16 1:24 PM, In Angst, Emo, Family, Life, My life, Sad, Sadness, Self, Teen issues, Teenage thinking.
100 words.
All.
6 comments.
I'm scared of my older brother ok. He makes me stressed. The only person that can actually make me tremble and feel that feeling when my throat feels like it's gonna close up. Is it right? He scares me sometimes, but he has his good moods. I love, but sometimes I just don't like him. =/ Anxiety sucks. *sigh* I actually wished I was somewhere else while he's here for his hourly lunch break. I'm ok now, he's gone. I see him as a person of conflict, so I try to stay away from him, avoid him. I s...
I'm scared of my older brother ok. He makes me stressed. The only person that can actually make me tremble and feel that feeling when my throat feels like it's gonna close up. Is it right? He scares me sometimes, but he has his good moods. I love, but sometimes I just don't like him. =/ Anxiety sucks. *sigh* I actually wished I was somewhere else while he's here for his hourly lunch break. I'm ok now, he's gone. I see him as a person of conflict, so I try to stay away from him, avoid him. I stay in my little area, and try to make myself invisible, but conflict always seems to find me. I hate it with a passion, and I'm not a person to hate likely. I feel better now that I wrote this.
-
I really think she's the one. She actually has held on and she claims she will always. We talk and see each other every day. She's my mommy and I'm her baby. She's the first one who ever allowed me to cuddle and play without being cautious. I want her to be my one. In fact, I want her to promise me forever. I want her to be my wife for the rest of my life.
I really think she's the one. She actually has held on and she claims she will always. We talk and see each other every day. She's my mommy and I'm her baby. She's the first one who ever allowed me to cuddle and play without being cautious. I want her to be my one. In fact, I want her to promise me forever. I want her to be my wife for the rest of my life.
-
-
The words I never wanted to admit finally keep nagging at the back of my mind. Pounding now. They finally make there way from my mind to this journal. How do you know you're falling for someone? I think I'm falling for my best friend TJ. It's just so confusing and wrong. I never meant for this to happen, it just did. It's so complicated. He lives in Canada and I live in Louisiana, plus I have a gf. I'm siting here on my couch crying because I don't know what the fuck to do. I can't help how I...
The words I never wanted to admit finally keep nagging at the back of my mind. Pounding now. They finally make there way from my mind to this journal. How do you know you're falling for someone? I think I'm falling for my best friend TJ. It's just so confusing and wrong. I never meant for this to happen, it just did. It's so complicated. He lives in Canada and I live in Louisiana, plus I have a gf. I'm siting here on my couch crying because I don't know what the fuck to do. I can't help how I feel. I fuckin hate myself. What the hell do I do? I love Jasmine, but I also love him. They both make me happy beyond description, but I can't have them both. I wish I could. Love has never been more complicated. I think about them every minute. I hate myself for letting this happen, but hey I'm a first timer here, well she's my second gf, but she's my first real love. Break up is out of the question, it's unthinkable. And to end a friendship, is not a thought I understand, once a friend, always in my heart and mind. I can't just let people go, I get attached really easily. FML, I wish I was dead, but I know that I would miss those 2 people who make me happiest. Love sucks.
Search synonyms for Teenage thinking:
|
