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by Chanes Forever
on Aug 12 3:21 PM, In Bitter, Contemplative, Depression, Etc, Hate, Life, Love, Noguest, Spur of the moment.
1,200 words.
Friends only.
3 comments.
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by HauntedMemories
on Aug 10 8:07 PM, In Anime, Asian, Chinese, Etc, Home, Japanese, Life, Love, Other, School, Survey.
500 words.
All.
2 comments.
So, how Asian are you? [ ] Both of your parents are from Asia [x] You think DDR is fun [x] You've watched lots of anime [ ] You like Korean drama [x] You have stuff hanging on your phone [x] Your parents want you to marry within your own race [ ] You drink lemon tea X's so far: 4 [x] You style your hair [x] You have a mebo/myspace/friendster/facebook [x] You speak languages other than ...
So, how Asian are you?
[ ] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You think DDR is fun
[x] You've watched lots of anime
[ ] You like Korean drama
[x] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[x] Your parents want you to marry within your own race
[ ] You drink lemon tea
X's so far: 4
[x] You style your hair
[x] You have a mebo/myspace/friendster/facebook
[x] You speak languages other than English
[x] Your parents are strict
[x] Your parents have high expectations of you
[x] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[ ] You've seen the Asian version The Ring and/or The Grudge
X's so far: 11
[ ] You own an Asian car (Honda,Toyota, etc)
[x] You're not the only child
[x] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[ ] (If you're a girl)You prefer white guys over asian guys (If you're a guy)You prefer asian girls
[x] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[x] You can do the rubiks cube
[x] You play videogames
X's so far: 16
[x] Everytime you're going out, your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[x] You have karaoke at home
[x] You know BOA/Gazette/AyumiHamasaki/Gackt
[ ] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[x] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[x] You own a gaming console
[x] You play a musical instrument
[x] You get nothing if you do well in school
X's so far: 23
[x] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have Asian Songs on your computer/iPod
[x] You don't like football
[x] You have a curfew
[x] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[x] You know what purikura is
[ ] You like bubble tea
[x] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come.
[x] You've played final fantasy
[x] You believe in fortune cookies
X's so far: 32
[x] You get mostly "No"'s when you ask your parents for permission for something -
[x] You've heard the song "Got rice?"
[ ] You have a tutor
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I'm like so fucking excited! Fucking yay man. YAY! Okay anyways. So I'm really fucking happy cause just recently, I decided to get started on publishing my shit. I filled out like an ass load of forms and whatnot, and omg. I heard from the biggest publishing company in the WORLD! And they wanna publish my shit! Omg. Dude, how fucking cool is that? I'm like !!!!!!!!!! Yes ! is a word in my world. So yeah, I'm fucking excited. I swear, anyone tries to ruin it, and I'm...
I'm like so fucking excited! Fucking yay man.
YAY!
Okay anyways. So I'm really fucking happy cause just recently, I decided to get started on publishing my shit.
I filled out like an ass load of forms and whatnot, and omg. I heard from the biggest publishing company in the WORLD! And they wanna publish my shit! Omg. Dude, how fucking cool is that? I'm like !!!!!!!!!! Yes ! is a word in my world. So yeah, I'm fucking excited. I swear, anyone tries to ruin it, and I'ma go house of wax on their ass.
I have quite a bit to go, but I'm just making a rough guess at when things will be done. Maybe around early summer, or something like that.
Anyways, proceeding on to the annoying shit. I swear, people don't fucking understand english. First off, there's pesky people that don't get, ' I don't wanna date.' Then there's the annoying exes who are like, oh I wish I could have another chance, and they drive you fucking cuckoo until you're like HOLY FUCK I'M ASSASSINATING YOUR ASS! Jesus. I'm sorry, but I just don't care to love anymore. Get the fuck over it pal. Stop driving me crazy. And I have a really close friend, like he's one of my closest friends, but the problem is, he fucking likes me, and I wouldn't dare date him because I am NOT screwing up the friendship. Every time I date a close friend, you know what happens? They dump me, then call me all this shit, and we never talk again. That's fucking bullshit. And I have a fear of it happening again. I'm sick of that shit. Ugh, I'd rather cry another atlantic ocean than do that shit.
Oh yes, and another thing. So I was on this other site, and I posted something that said, what is with people and judging by looks? it's fucking retarded. Because seriously, all they do is post shit like: "rate me based on looks" or "based on looks what would you do to me?" Just wtf. Just fucking STOP. Jesus christ. So this dude replies to my post with, "i'm sure you do it too." Yeah, so sure aren't you you fucking useless shitface of an assuming dirtbag. Fuck YOU if you think I judge by looks. A lot of fucking people judge me by just that, and I hate it, so I do the opposite and get to know them first. I'm so fucking SICK and fucking tired of people telling me shit like that asshole. Ugh it just gets on my very last nerves. Like shut the fucking hell up man, cause you don't know shit about me, nor would you ever bother because you're another fucking Ken...
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I woke up this morning feeling really depressed, exactly how I went to bed... and barely slept last night. So as I get ready to prepare for my day, thoughts race through my head. I wonder what's going to happen with me and him, preparing for it to end, as painful as that will/would be. I've never done well in relationships... but this one is different. Never have I been so happy with someone or missed someone so much. Sometimes I miss him so much it hurts, as pathetic and cheesy as that may s...
I woke up this morning feeling really depressed, exactly how I went to bed... and barely slept last night. So as I get ready to prepare for my day, thoughts race through my head. I wonder what's going to happen with me and him, preparing for it to end, as painful as that will/would be. I've never done well in relationships... but this one is different. Never have I been so happy with someone or missed someone so much. Sometimes I miss him so much it hurts, as pathetic and cheesy as that may sound. I've said 'I love you' to guys before, but when I say it to him, it gives love a whole new meaning to me. And as I go on with my day, I wonder if something really is going to happen or if it's just me, just my paranoia. I really wish there was someone I could talk to who really understood... but yet, I can't ever really explain all of it, no matter how I try. More than anything, I wish I could choose people and just let them see into my head for a while, so they can really see what I think and feel. Sometimes the words get so twisted as they come out. People act like they understand, and maybe they think they do, but they really don't. I hate being me sometimes. It's like I'm my own worst enemy, so uncomfortable in my own skin. I try so hard, usually only to be disappointed. Mostly I just wish I had someone to love me, and I know I am loved, I just wish I could really feel and believe it. I wish I was good enough for my mom, and that she could actually be a mom to. I wish there was someone I could talk to everything about. I wish that love weren't so complicated and confusing. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things when you love someone, and it feels like I'm sacrificing so much, for him, for my mom... But what do I get from it? Is it my destiny to always be hurt? Will Anyone ever understand? I'm so tired of being paranoid all the time, of being afraid I've said something wrong or that I'm annoying him. Don't I deserve t be loved and to be happy as well?... I've made up my mind that I'm going to let him come to me today, and if I'm hurt again, well, then I guess I'll have to deal with it. I always seem to have my heart prepared for being stabbed once again. It seems to happen so often... Well, I should take off for now. I have chores to do before my mom comes home. School starts tomorrow... Hopefully I can take it this semester, I drop my classes again, and I get kicked out.... This sucks. For real, sometimes I just imagine how much better it would be if I was...
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I haven't written down my new years resolutions yet, although I do have three things in mind which I want to make them on. So, I will make this journal about the very most important things I want to resolve to do this year. First of all, I want to get my priorities straight, by putting God first in my life. My intentions are very good, but I often let too many things interfere with praying first. That is a serious error, because God is the most important ...
I haven't written down my new years resolutions yet, although I do have three things in mind which I want to
make them on. So, I will make this journal about the very most important things I want to resolve to do this year.
First of all, I want to get my priorities straight, by putting God first in my life. My intentions are very good, but I
often let too many things interfere with praying first. That is a serious error, because God is the most important
One in my life, and should be in everyones life, as well. He IS the most important Person in the universe..the
Creator of all things, including the Creator of the universe and of ALL the universes out there that we just aren't
aware of yet.
Sometimes we can't help it. Sometimes we are compelled by our schedules, or by emergencies to do other things
first before we pray. Even then, we can still whisper a prayer to God, "Lord, please fill me afresh with You presence and be in all I do.. I'll pray and talk to You, as soon as
this gets done." We can and should ask the Holy Spirit to fill us each morning and offer ourselves and our lives to
God, through Jesus. Then, as soon as we are free from other constraints, we should run to our dearest Lord and
talk with Him, praise Him and worship Him.
One day a week isn't enough. We need His life flowing through us every single day!Without Him, our lives
become disordered, and joyless. You really can have peace in even sad situations, as contradicting as that sounds,
if you'll stay in communion with our Lord. You can have joy while doing mundane taskes, if you abide in Christ.
Joy and happiness are not quite the same thing. Joy and fun are not the same. If you've ever got into abiding in
Christ, where you felt His refreshing and peace and joy, then you know what I mean. If you let Christ abide in you
and you abide in Christ, then you can 'do all things through Christ, Who strengthens you!'
So, my first new years resolution is that I am going to get closer to God then I have ever been, through prayer,
praise, worship, bible reading, communion, etc.. and, I am putting my relationship with Jesus, my fellowship with
the Holy Spirit, my honoring God the Father by prayer before all else and before everyone else. Whatever has been
distracting me is going to be eliminat...
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Ok. So I've just been verbally hit in the face with a concept that is seriously getting on my nerves.. Damn shit talkers. I have absolutely no problem with someone saying shit; whether it be to my face, or to someone else. Feel free to shit talk me any time you want, just know you're pissing away your time trying to ruin me when in reality, it's not going to work. If you DO choose to run your mouth, then please do so with concrete evidence, as in, if you fucking find something a...
Ok. So I've just been verbally hit in the face with a concept that is seriously getting on my nerves..
Damn shit talkers.
I have absolutely no problem with someone saying shit; whether it be to my face, or to someone else. Feel free to shit talk me any time you want, just know you're pissing away your time trying to ruin me when in reality, it's not going to work. If you DO choose to run your mouth, then please do so with concrete evidence, as in, if you fucking find something about the way I do things, the way I look, or act, THAT HURTS YOU, fine. If not, and you just wanna run your fucking mouth for the sheer fucking fact that you can run your fucking mouth, then I suggest you go fucking suck on a dead moldy flamingo body, you filthy fuck. Waste your time on something else, and stop with this "you did this" "you did that" bullshit. If you can't fucking back up what you say with some sort of evidence, then FUCK YOU! Jeez. I actually have shit to do, so I can't be constantly monitoring faggots who yip yap all the time. And duct tape is not forever lasting, so then I'ma have to start sewing shit spewing orifices shut. ESPECIALLY if they say shit about my little sister. She's had to watch a lot of horrible stuff happen at such a young age, and she's damn fucking strong, soo if I keep hearing the things I'm hearing, I'm gonna start manually removing mandibles and tongues..
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Before I say anything further, this is NOT directed to anyone, I'm not angry or upset with anyone; this is the beginning of a very shitty week so yeah. I'm merely venting, unless you want me to tear your head off, then please do approach me. [:
Before I say anything further, this is NOT directed to anyone, I'm not angry or upset with anyone; this is the beginning of a very shitty week so yeah. I'm merely venting, unless you want me to tear your head off, then please do approach me. [:A week without dj (god don't even remind me -.-)
>Homework (ugh I'm supposed to write a research essay in like, two days, and I just can't fucking motivate myself to do it)
>People that will be bothering me after today (ran out of fucking days r.r)
>My grandfather's death ='/
>My mom can't fucking seem to pick a time to leave (for previous answer)
>Certain friends that are less than helpful right now
>Fucking gay ass drama EVERYWHERE
>No one really knows what's up with me (they just don't fucking pay attention, it's such a shame, I won't always be around)
Other than that, I think I'm pretty much ok. However, I've come to realize a few things. First, apparently I've changed dramatically, because one of my friends stopped by earlier, due to the fact that my dad was making an business transaction with them. So, I walk out into the living room where this chick is with her husband (yeah, husband, I think they're a little younger than me) and she doesn't even know it's me, so I was like whoa. Second, I'm never letting certain people near my laundry again, because it keeps fucking disappearing. I bought like nine shirts a while back, and I only have 5 now. Like, wtf? Where the hell does my shit go? Third, my teacher's a fucking douche bag for expecting me to shit out a fucking research essay in a short amount of time. How the hell can anyone honestly expect me to write when I'm distraught? It just doesn't happen,...
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So, I've told only a few people this, but I think I should just get it all the fuck out. When I was in high school, there was always a shitload of pressure, and whatnot. I'm sure you know that, and even though I stood out a ton, and didn't give in to a lot of peer pressures and shit. However, I became anorexic. I wouldn't eat for days, and I continued this for four years, still kinda counting to this very day. I have a very strong distraction to food, I don't like to eat that much, and I...
So, I've told only a few people this, but I think I should just get it all the fuck out. When I was in high school, there was always a shitload of pressure, and whatnot. I'm sure you know that, and even though I stood out a ton, and didn't give in to a lot of peer pressures and shit. However, I became anorexic. I wouldn't eat for days, and I continued this for four years, still kinda counting to this very day. I have a very strong distraction to food, I don't like to eat that much, and I'm overly paranoid about getting fat and shit. Sometimes I think I'm bulimic, cause I tend to puke a lot of that shit up, when I actually do eat. It could be from all the stress I'm always under and shit, but I don't know. When I'm upset I won't even bother to eat, cause I know it's pointless. I'll smoke a lot to keep my appetite from getting overboard. Recently though, I've been given a good incentive to quit smoking, and try to get myself out of my noneating habits. It's been working quite nicely, I can stop smoking whenever I want now, as I have complete control over that addiction. The eating, well I've actually progressed in my appetite. I can do two to three small meals a day, and sometimes snacks. I'm soooo fucking proud of myself for doing this without any fucking help. That's right, no fucking rehab or nothing. I'm not giving up either, as I've gotten quite a lot of support from my amazing bf and my close friends. I'm keeping up all my effort, and I'm pretty damn sure I can overcome this bullshit. So yeah, there's another piece of me for ya.
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So, I just have to fucking rant on this one, because I read some shit today that was like WOW NO. I'm pretty sure you know I'm gothic, or goth, whatever the hell you wanna call it. I hope you know what it's all about, but if you aren't aware, I'll briefly define it for those of you who aren't very familiar with the concept. Goth is, even as defined in the webster dictionary, as embracement of the darker side, especially in literature, music, and arts. No, they're not stupid, angry, depres...
So, I just have to fucking rant on this one, because I read some shit today that was like WOW NO. I'm pretty sure you know I'm gothic, or goth, whatever the hell you wanna call it. I hope you know what it's all about, but if you aren't aware, I'll briefly define it for those of you who aren't very familiar with the concept. Goth is, even as defined in the webster dictionary, as embracement of the darker side, especially in literature, music, and arts. No, they're not stupid, angry, depressed rebels without causes. However, I will tell you right now, I do have anger issues, but that's not why I am what I am. We're not all the fucking same, so don't go thinking that bullshit of "oh they all wear black and hate the world." Fuck that. Everyone has a different style, and that applies to the gothic culture too. Who the hell says goths can't wear colors? Seriously, I wanna know who started that stupid shit. I'm pretty sure some lame ass, narrowminded fuckhead who obviously didn't bother to get to know any of the goths they encountered. I'm actually friends with quite a few goths, and not just because I am one myself, but because most of them tend to stand out, they tend to have their own uniqueness about them that just fucking radiates amazing charisma all over the place. I enjoy the fact that most of them are pretty damn smart, and don't envy people who are popular, cause they know popularity is one of the least important things in life. That being a freak instead of a brainless jackass is ok, and one day they'll get farther in life than the ones who chose to not care about simplistic arts, or certain life values. Omg, and NO I don't fucking worship the devil. Holy flamingos, don't even get me started on that one. I am, in fact a satanist. Satanism is about worshipping YOU and YOU alone as the god in your world and embracing the self values you have as god like. Hate me for being that, but it's what I am, and I am indeed very happy with who I am, and what I've become. I'm not always a drag, not always depressed. Yes, I do have a lot of shit going on in life, but it could be worse, and I choose not to drag others down with me on that one. Also, this doesn't just apply to goths. It applies to everyone who has chosen what they are and who they are, for everyone who has embraced themselves and is happy with who they are, continue to do so. FUCK WHAT PEOPLE SAY. Labeling is fucking retarded. How can you label someone of the same race as y...
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Yes, I am crying. This shit is pissing me off. I feel sick with grief, and I have no clue why. Probably from all the bullshit stress of upcoming essays and with all that's going on with my family. I'm soo hoping I never lose the people I talk to most, including DJ. I'd have a major freak out if I did. Like, massacre freak out. You wouldn't believe the shit that goes on inside my head, it's like a crazy ass play on LSD. Somehow I manage to stay in normal mode, and I don't know how. Hm...
Yes, I am crying. This shit is pissing me off. I feel sick with grief, and I have no clue why. Probably from all the bullshit stress of upcoming essays and with all that's going on with my family. I'm soo hoping I never lose the people I talk to most, including DJ. I'd have a major freak out if I did. Like, massacre freak out. You wouldn't believe the shit that goes on inside my head, it's like a crazy ass play on LSD. Somehow I manage to stay in normal mode, and I don't know how. Hm, how do I stay in control? I'll never know....
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Okay seriously, I'm freaking annoyed as hell right now, and I've yet to do a journal so I was like, hmm maybe I'll do this instead of doing the normal stuff. Seriously, if you're a kid in highschool, ENJOY IT for goth sakes, and yes I said goth sakes, lol. College is sooooooo much harder, the essays never stop, and I'm so freaking sick of this shit. I'M UP TO MY EARS WITH IT. Fuck school. Not really, but yeah, enjoy yourself if you're still young cause once you hit the two oh, it's respon...
Okay seriously, I'm freaking annoyed as hell right now, and I've yet to do a journal so I was like, hmm maybe I'll do this instead of doing the normal stuff. Seriously, if you're a kid in highschool, ENJOY IT for goth sakes, and yes I said goth sakes, lol. College is sooooooo much harder, the essays never stop, and I'm so freaking sick of this shit. I'M UP TO MY EARS WITH IT. Fuck school. Not really, but yeah, enjoy yourself if you're still young cause once you hit the two oh, it's responsibility up the ass. I've soooo had it with that. No I don't wanna hear that it's 'part of life.' I have a lot of shit going on, like family issues, and yes I care to share with everyone, cause if I'm gonna vent, it might as well be worth venting. My grandpa is dying of mesothilioma (I have no clue if I spelled it right) but, it's some kind of lung cancer, and I probably have to leave for a week to go watch him die. I'm scared about it, and that means I won't be able to talk to DJ for a while, and it's driving me insane. No, don't cry for me, or give me a ton of sympathy, I'm ok, I'm a strong girl, I just need to get all this out, cause it's driving me nuts. If you wanna say anything about it, feel free. I'm cool with whatever feedback you give. No, it's not me complaining about life, I am pretty accepting of my life, and just because I'm goth doesn't make me suicidal as shit, even though I know what that's like...I'll be sure to add more later when I'm not extremely stressed out. Hm for more, it would bug me so badly if I lost the guy I truly love...if I did, I'd have to say fuck life, and I would just give up on a lot of shit. I'm getting sick of crying, I hope this stress goes elsewhere soon, it's pissing me off. This is random too, but twilight honestly blows, if you ask me, and I'm sick of seeing it everywhere.
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hey people srry i haven't put up my latest nejiten story yet i've been having major writers block and have been working on other stories to refresh my mind. also just letting u all kno my latest story may have couples u may not like. that shouldn't stop u from reading it though, just skip over those parts. anyway i have nothing against people who don't like the couples i do it's merely an opinion, so please don't have anything against me. after all i sometimes read stories or doujin (doujinsh...
hey people srry i haven't put up my latest nejiten story yet i've been having major writers block and have been working on other stories to refresh my mind. also just letting u all kno my latest story may have couples u may not like. that shouldn't stop u from reading it though, just skip over those parts. anyway i have nothing against people who don't like the couples i do it's merely an opinion, so please don't have anything against me. after all i sometimes read stories or doujin (doujinshi?)if it's a good stories line then i don't give a crap about the couples. also after this part of the story there will be 2 parts left to this saga and the next part after this next one (i hope for it 2 b out by the end of the week! if not then next week) may not have 2 much nejiten in it because there will b a ton of battles (not going 2 give away 2 much) but yea just letting anybody who actually likes my stories kno.
btw i'm planning on starting a new series called Naruto Musicals i have already made the list for it. it will contain stories about naruto characters and there version of movies (disney movies and others with a ton of singing in them) i am currently working on a nejiten version of 1 of my fav movies but..................i won't reveal anything mwahahahaha! yea and also if anybody wants 2 request movies please do cuz i can't remember 2 many of them! kk
oh yea! if anybody wants 2 try and guess who Tenten's parents are and what's probably going 2 happen message me and i'll say something like no, ur close, not quite, almost there, etc. so i won't reveal anything good luck guessing!
Search synonyms for Etc: lawyer
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